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Co-pareting problems

Anonymous01's picture

I had posted a forum about a month ago about how my step daughter's bio mom would get ahold me and go through me for everything instead of the child's dad. Well shortly after we had a fight she decided she was done talking to me completely, mind you when she is at our house she stays home with me all day instead of going to daycare. I feel it is not right for her to say that, I do feel her and my husband need to communicate about pretty much everything about their daughter. But I also feel if I have a problem or need to talk to her about something I should be able to get ahold of her instead of going through my husband. Isn't that one of the contributing successes Co-parenting, all of us being able to communicate with each other? I am very frustrated tha she reacted this way, I am not dwelling over her I am dwelling over the fact that I feel this is affecting our ability to co-parent. Since it aggravates me I don't want to talk to her when we are aroudn each other, I don't even want to look at her and I just feel that is also affecting the child in a negative way.

And recently since the child will be at our house most of the summer we signed her up for softball, well the form only asked for one parent so I put my husband down, not myself, since she will be at our house. And the child had an outfit fitting, all we had to do was write down what size she would need for her game uniform and bio mom wasn't invited since she lives an hour away we found it poinless to drive an hour just to write down a size on a piece of paper. My husband completely forgot about the fitting and she won't talk to me. Well the bio mom recenly got mad at all of this, like we won't include her stuff which we would never do, we have always invited her to dos tuff with us and to birthday parties, so why would we disclude her from this? I don't know how to handle this, it just frustrates me more than anything. I don't know how to ignore her or be the better person because I don't want my step daughter to feel like she's in the middle of this.

tankh21's picture

ok so let me get this straight you are communicating with the BM and your DH isn't?

Anonymous01's picture

She made it that way. It's no longer happening, but anytime somethjng involved my SD she would get ahold of me and not my DH. She got mad at me and won't even talk to me period.

Aniki's picture

Your stepdaughter is NOT in the middle of this. YOU ARE.

SD is the child of your DH and BM. Your DH should be handling ALL communication with BM - all phone calls, all emails, all text messages.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

It feels like there are some major boundary issues here and BM is attempting to control way to much of your household. Co-parenting isn't taking place at this time and that needs to be recognized. Sure it would be wonderful if it did but her behavior isn’t making that possible. Read up on parallel parenting because if this stuff continues you’re going to want to implement things from it.