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Bio Mom Struggles

Anonymous01's picture


I have been a step parent for almost 2 years, but have been in the child's life for almost 4. The child's mother and I have gotten along for the most part. But recently my husband told her that they are the child's parents and they should communicate more. Well her response was she doesn't like to or want to talk to him, that's what I'm there for, that's why I am in the middle. I just don't think this is right. And she recently made an appointment for the child to get an evaluation for kindergarten without talking to the father until after she made the appointment. And she didn't even tell the father, she told me, the stepmom. And then lied saying this was the last week for the evaluations whenever they go into next week. Then she said that she's the only one that needs to be there, which I feel isn't right. Can someone please tell me if I'm in the wrong for feeling like I shouldn't be in the middle and that my husband has every right to be there for his child?

Rags's picture

Tough truth.

If you don't like it, don't tolerate it.  Of course BM is spouting crap.  Her stance and actions don't pass the smell test.  I would quit being the conduit between your DH and his XW were I you.

Rags's picture

And I know my advice is direct and simplistic. However, simplifying how you deal with blended family challenges has been a key to how my wife and I have navigated this blended family adventure for 23+ years.

Keep it as simple as  you can. Be direct, and process and confront the challenges and behaviors as soon as they arise and you should find that the issues remain far less complex and far easier to deal with.

Good luck and take care of you.

StepMomT's picture

Tried putting me in the middle as well. She's a nutjob - so reaching out to me was attention seeking on her part.  Then she had the attention of both of us.  She would cc. me on all emails to DH (trying to embarrass him in front of me) and IF they were on the phone for some odd reason - she would say she is only talking to me.  I hated seeing her name pop up in my email - so finally pulled that plug right out of the wall!  In his next correspondence to her - I had him add a line that told her clearly that I am not their son's parent so stop including me on emails.  It's attention seeking behaviour - don't give her any of your attention at all. End of story.