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3 MONTHS UPDATE: My suspicion about my son's father and his ex wife were confirmed

Rednwhiteroses's picture
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I'm posting here because this is where I originally posted about it 3 months ago. I posted about how my son's father allowed his ex wife to spend the night in his home just because his kids were there. He's never set boundaries with her and IMO is still emotionally married to her. We have since split up but my suspicions were confirmed. 

I added how his mom and sister dropped my stuff off without warning and then "surprise" 2 days later she's in his house. He tried to claim that he didn't know she was coming. Suuuuure. I went to drop my son off for visitation last week and he said he wanted me to look at the messages between them. I said ok just to put it to bed and I scrolled back to January and I noticed that every time he mentioned me to her it was never by name, always BS's mom. 

I scrolled down further and noticed where he said "I never said your coochie wasn't bomb". I told him that it just confirmed that he was in fact cheating. He said of course that I'm overreacting. He said she lives 2 hours away so there's no way he has slept with her and he doesn't want to. Again, suuuure. Let's not forget she spent the night in his house. 

Also, I found it rather sus that ever since she spent the night, his mom and sister talk about her in front of me every time they see me. Yeah, I think he's been back with her ever since that night and his family is covering it up. I don't care anymore, they can have each other. All this experience has taught me is to trust my gut and to never get involved with a single parent again unless they have firm boundaries established with their ex. 

He's still trying to convince me that it was nothing and even tried to get me to swallow the b.s. excuse that she was down on herself so he was boosting her up. Idk about you but it seems like an answer to a question and that this has been going on for a long time. I wish I could make a clean break but unfortunately I can't.

Thanks to all of you for your support on the original post and for validating that I'm not crazy. I saw it for myself in black and white. I just can't believe he's still attempting to gaslight me. It's not gonna work but he is. Anyway, thanks again!

hereiam's picture

even tried to get me to swallow the b.s. excuse that she was down on herself so he was boosting her up

Not his job to boost up his ex wife's self esteem.

I'm so glad you had the strength to leave this jerk.

Rags's picture

Once my XW moved out I had zero thought of her "coochie" other than to thank God that I had not polluted my gene pool by procreating with that cavern crotched adulterous skank whore.

IMHO you can make a clean break though protecting your child from the character deficient shallow and polluted end of his gene pool has to be a life long priority for you.

We made this commitment to each other and to my then 2yo SS when my DW and I married.  We commited to SS that we would have his back and do whatever was necessary to protect him and his best interests.  As it turned out, it was his SpermClan that we had to defend him and his best interests from.

Meanwhile nearly 27 years later and back at the ranch.... SS is approaching 29yo, he asked me to adopt him 7yrs ago, we made that happen, and the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool have lived miserable lives.  Sadly, that includes his three younger also out of wedlock SpermIdiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas.  SpermIdiot spawn #3 just reported to max security prison to start his manditory 5yr sentense for a felongy burglary while carrying a fire arm conviction, #4 is closely behind #3 and is attempting to live up to the SpermIdio't gangbanger wannabe fantasies, and #2 is struggling to find her foundation due to her idiot fathers crap.  She detests the SpermIdiot beyone measure and words.

So, stay loaded for big game and fire when your sights bear if your X plays out his stupidity actively in a way that is detrimental to your child.... or to you.

IMHO of course.

Rednwhiteroses's picture

I should. I just let didn't know that I will not allow him to Gaslight me anymore. He knows that I know what he's up to and his attempts to convince me that it's nothing aren't going to work anymore. He had the audacity to say that he loves me but he doesn't like me anymore. Well that's okay because the feeling's mutual. I'm tired of him thinking that he can cheat on me especially repeatedly and then treat me like the bad guy for reacting appropriately to it. I've come to realize that he is just not a good person. It really has nothing to do with me and him anymore, he's just really not a good person at all. Full stop. I honestly think that he has some kind of personality disorder. I'm not a doctor but I've studied this a lot and he's showing clear signs of narcissism and antisocial personality disorder. I do plan to get a good lawyer and go after him for child support. I don't know what sort of mental gymnastics he's been doing to justify how he's treated me but it's over with, I told him that we're done and I I'm not going to put up with hearing more of the excuses about how he didn't do anything wrong and I'm crazy and there's nothing going on. As far as I'm concerned they can get back together for all I care. They deserve each other. They're both nutjobs. I honestly feel sorry for his other three kids that they've had to grow up with those two for parents. But it's done, it's over with. I'm not going to lay back and let somebody treat me like that. He's made it clear for a long time that he does not care about me and does not care about how his decisions affect me and more importantly our son. He's just going to step on whoever he has to running to get what he wants. That's not somebody I see a future with but thank you.

Thumper's picture

Wow

I am sorry. Thankfully you are smart enough to see it clearly.

 

 

 

Sandybeaches's picture

I too am glad that you were able to leave !!

It sounds like he and the ex deserve each other.  I will tell you what my mom told me " whatever was wrong in their relationship that made them breakup will be wrong again.  People can change but when put together in the same dynamic they usually don't.  The best revenge for you would be to find true happiness"  

You are well rid of this situation!

Stepdrama2020's picture

Is propping up his ex wife is telling her that her coochie is the bomb. WTH! Lots of class in that comment. Thats all I need to know to conclude they are trash.

Be glad to be free. Your gut knew and you followed through. Remember this man was no prize and the two cheaters deserve eachother.

Like me my ex ended up with BM. When you get past the hurt you begin to feel relieved. Over time you start feeling better about yourself. Being with a cheater is a self esteem crusher. Once its done though slowly you can rebuild and be the brilliant you.

Take good care of yourself lady, you are worth it.

CLove's picture

Now you can build a new life that is healthy for you and your little one. It takes strength to leave.