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wwyd? opinions pls

lil_lady's picture

SD has been in kids Club and was taught Christian fundamentals. BM decided this year she was putting her in Catholic school. SD has been asking me to take her to church for over a year now. I have told her would try but have yet to follow through. Her dad is not religious but wants to support his daughters decisions BM is catholic. SO is PISSED about this... below is our emails...

Her reply:
Since SD is in a catholic school, she will be doing church there. I feel it may be confusing for her right now if we have different perspectives thrown at her. She already "beleives" in one way. Although I have no idea what goes on at other churches. I don't know much about other religion.

my email:
SD has been wanting me to take her to church. I feel funny doing that without asking you (BM) if you are ok with it? I was going to find a really tame non denominational or baptist church. I've never gone to a catholic service... I figured that is more your department. I could take her to one too but if she asks any questions I may not be able to answer some. SO is ok with it all. He just said he would not be going lol.

lil_lady's picture

I'm not sure where you get that I am religious and was brought up Christian. I have been thinking about starting to go to church again and have no qualms with going especially now that SD is showing interest.

We also just moved and I haven't put any time into finding a church I want to attend quite yet.

Anna21's picture

I would stay out of the religious debate between the kid's parents. If you do want to attend a church of your choice and the skid expresses an interest in attending with you, as long as the kid's parents are in agreement I don't see the harm. But it would need both to agree. Our BM has decided after 17 years to be a Catholic again and now our skids are taking classes to be baptized and make their first communion. She has asked that on our weekends he gets SS13 to the Sunday School class, FDH said yes of course. To me its the same as a sport activity (this is another activity) and if they signed up then its ok. However FDH did not agree or disagree but as this is a positive step for the skids, he does not object. Frankly a bit of religion, any religion, will be good for them. Not sure if they will ever act like true Christians, any of em! }:) BM and skids don't have a Christian bone in their bodies but it "looks good on paper" so off they go. Am I cynical?? You bet LOL

lil_lady's picture

Like I said he is livid and wants SD to be able to explore her religious interest. He wants to say something to BM. Is it really the hill to die on though? So much unnecessary drama or I could just take her when she is here on his time.

notarelative's picture

I would touch this one. This, to me, is a biomom/ biodad issue.

BM doesn't know much about Catholic school, at least the way it works here, if she thinks that SD will be doing church there. In the Catholic schools I know, religion is taught and they have services on holydays. Students who are Catholic still are expected to attend services on the weekend.

Taking kids to different churches to try them out sounds great in theory. Practice is another matter.
My youngest spent the weekend with a friend. On Sunday the family went to church. He came home wanting us to change denominations as he really liked their Sunday school.
He was not sufficiently mature enough to understand the doctrinal differences, and chose based on fun.
Today we laugh about it as he is clergy in our denomination.

If you don't go to church usually, don't take her. If SO wants her to explore it's up to him to take her and do the heavy lifting that exploring entails. And then when SD choses, he can be the parent who supports the choice by transporting and attending on his weeks.

Why is he so upset this time? Was he upset when she went to the previous program? BM has taken her to two different church programs. How many is enough to explore?

twoviewpoints's picture

This SD is around 8-9yrs old, correct? JMO, but I don't think she's really old enough to make a decision on which religion she should follow nor able to intellectually properly explore. What, if any, input did her father give when the decision was made to have SD attend a Catholic school this school year?

To me, this is something to be discussed between the parents, but I'm interested in what brought this topic to the forefront now. Is SD questioning her new school and curriculum agenda?

MommyMayI's picture

If you don't care what church then take her to a catholic service. If she has questions that you don't know then you two can look for answers together. If you want her to research other religions, I would take her to the library and explore there. It's not your place to take her alone.

Monchichi's picture

Religion is very personal and belongs with the parents. Never involve yourself in this. I cannot stress enough the amount of conflict this will cause if you involve yourself, immaterial of whether or not your SD asked.

Monchichi's picture

Fair enough. Jabba would rip my head off and shove it where the sun doesn't shine, if I dared take Chucky near a church. Sal, some things I believe we should stay away from as SM's. This happens to be it.

Monchichi's picture

Well now we are getting in to some heavy theology here. A demon in it's pure form from the belly of hell cannot enter consecrated ground HOWEVER an innocent possessed by a demon could.

Chucky (from the movies) is a serial killer whose spirit inhabits a fictional "Good Guy". So Chucky could step over the threshold of the Roman Catholic church. Holy water though would burn his soul/ possessed body.