THIS Is Why Step Mothers Hate Mother’s Day
Forums:
I am in the process of leaving my fiancé because he pretends he has no clue how to be a good partner instead of a lapdog for his manipulative exwife and overly needy kids.
Well in the meantime I was hoping for a 'decent' Mother's Day.
Instead I'm bracing myself for the fact that Mothers Day might look exactly like last year:
- Mother's Day plans will be made with ex-wife in mind first (well SHE wants a break), the step-kids next (what do you want to do on Mother's Day? Want to come over? Okay!), himself after that (hmmm I don't mind having the kids over), and me last (hey! The kids are coming over!)
- Manipulative ex wife will dump her kids over here on Mother's Day when they should be with her
- Obtuse Fiancé will not challenge her to avoid upsetting her and the kids - but gives two sh*ts about upsetting me
- Fiance will take kids on the weekend and take them to reminisce and spend money on gifts for her (why can't they celebrate her by being WITH her?!?)
- I most likely will get no recognition from those kids despite helping them with multiple hours of childcare while their parents worked, helping furnish their rooms, cleaning up after them every time they're here, and sacrifing my peace/put my desires on the back burner for them damn near everyday
- The worst is having to give up my peace and clean up after them if they're here
- If I decide to do my own thing, since he/his exwife/his kids have already made plans on Mothers Day without consulting or informing me, I will be guilt tripped or he will complain to his family how I neglect them on the weekends.
I know I'm leaving him soon but in the interim I am getting triggered by Mother's Day shenanigans my fiancé will try and pull which will leave a black stain on my day but reminds me of why I cannot stay in this relationship
I guess in the grand scheme of things I shouldn't care bc I have one foot out the door but it still bothers me
You see it clearly
Can you you go buy yourself something nice on his charge? Do whatever it takes.
Good idea! His credit card
Good idea! His credit card will definitely lessen my anxiety about the annoyance he brings on Mothers Day
Clutch your pearls
If his family comments about you not being there that weekend, look shocked and say, "You want ME to deprive them of their MOTHER on Mother's Day?!" As if it were the most awful thing in the world.
And yes, you should spend the
And yes, you should spend the day doing things that give you pleasure. Shopping,a movie,lunch with a friend, etc. I'd start with a lovely breakfast somewhere nice.
I know it's your frustration
I know it's your frustration driving your post, but I did want to say that when my kids were younger, I did like to have some time to myself on mother's day because I was with them everyday.
I am sure that, if you felt appreciated and well loved by your fiance, you probably wouldn't be so upset about Mother's Day and having the kids over.
((hugs))
That may be true but if
That may be true but if anyone is going to give BM that "gift" of time without her kids, maybe her own SO/DH/parents can do that. I think OP is upset that her DH is giving this gift by making her do the work for no appreciation.
Your "partner" needs to tell
Your "partner" needs to tell his exW that she is a shit mother for wanting to dump her kids on mother's day and hang up the phone.
Other than that, if they do show up, do as the others suggested and leave the house for the rest of the day!
Your "partner" needs to tell
Your "partner" needs to tell his exW that she is a shit mother for wanting to dump her kids on mother's day and hang up the phone.
Lol!!!! Now, I he did this (actually stand up to her and say NO) on all her holidays where she tries to dump the kids off over here like this house is her only option for childcare .... it would make my job a lot easier that's for sure
If he can make plans without
If he can make plans without consulting you (Hey, this kids are coming over!), then you can make plans without consulting him (Hey that's great, I've got a day-trip planned. Have fun with your kids.).
You're not the mother (which has been made clear to you) so you don't need to stick around for a holiday that isn't about you. He's going to be upset either way, so you might as well go ahead and enjoy a day to yourself.
Never a truer word
Never a truer word spoken "He's going to be upset either way, so you might as well go ahead and enjoy a day to yourself."
You aren't their mom, so why
You aren't their mom, so why be bothered he has his kids on Mother's Day...you are not tethered there, you can leave and go do something else. Or you can stay and have yourself a nice relaxing day doing what you want. If he gets upset, just tell him it's not good to be mad that he has to parent in front of his own children, it will give them a complex that he doesn't love them. Gaslight the sh@t out of his a$$, after all that's what they are doing to you.
Tell him 'Happy Father's Day...I mean
Mother's Day" as you skip out the door!
I mean, you're not the mom, the hired help or thanked, so I'd be just as happy to be damned after my spa day. And this goes for any occasion where you are expected to pitch in when you're not acknowledged or appreciated.
I especially emphasize that since you're not consulted when this is a possibility for you. He can be Mr Mom to his hearts content, but darned if I'd play Mary Poppins with him.