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Why does this make me upset?

zebra.wings's picture

I'm engaged to be married to a wonderful man who is a great dad to my ss. I have two boys one the same age as my ss. one is 3.5

My fiance came home today grumpy from work issues and his son having study issues in school, was quiet all through dinner and then hard on his son about homework..after lecturing and helping him with schoolwork he's now upstairs "hiding" and watching a movie with his son. Thats wonderful I snuggle with my kids too. However it irritates me too. Am I wrong to be annoyed?

He made my evening hard by being grumpy and is now hiding upstairs with the kid that made him that way and I'm here alone..writing this! (I avoid him if he gets that way there is no helping him feel "happy" when he's mad or annoyed..

Usually I have 0 complaints and I really cannot he gives me tons of attention and love...is it wrong to be annoyed that he's up there hiding for the past hour? when I made dinner, did the normal chores and was excited to see him? got a hug and kiss and now he's hiding rubbing his sons head (he's almost Dirol and watching a stupid movie? am I being a bitch? If i did that he's pace and be annoyed I wasn't spending time with him..

confusedsm11's picture

My husband always ignores me. He is upstairs for day #4 of spending ZERO time with me...I would be happy if my DH decided he only needed one night alone vs every single night. I think if I was in your shoes, I would be annoyed but let it go. Eventually SS will go to bed and maybe by then he will be out of his mood Smile

confusedsm11's picture

I wish I could go to the bar to get away from my DH Smile but in all the "alone" time he needs, I get stuck with the kiddos

zebra.wings's picture

ohhh I know and I know he loves his son but he was def "off" tonight and I felt neglected I guess...this guy is ususally very attentive so when he's not I get nervous. lol

confusedsm11's picture

I'm currently a SAHM (not by choice and having a hard time finding a new job) and my DH tells me I get my "alone" time during the day...as I take care of the house and 2 kids, so after he comes home from work, its only fair that he gets his alone time...every single night, all night.

windee's picture

Maybe he seperates himself from you so that he doesn't take his anger out on you any more the rest of the night. MAYBE?!?!

zebra.wings's picture

I understand the taking time alone with his son (although he has plenty of that all week) and I understand it wasn't me that made him upset so I'm sure he didn't want to take it out on me but honestly I would rather him talk to me and vent then go hide with the kid who made him pissy! that makes me feel like I'm being punished and my ss is being manipulative (all he has to do is be emotional for a day and "theres something wrong)