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When the step kids are sick

Dannee's picture

When your step children are sick...

Sick with vomiting, the runs, or fever is what I mean...

Do you let them come to your home..

I say NO...If they get sick at their mothers home then they Stay at their mothers home..

How do you all feel about that?

How do you handle this situation...

magiclassie's picture

I would agree.... last night SD14 threw up all over the carpet.... and the light was still on... My BD6 is more than capable of saying I don't feel well.... and has never threwn up all over the carpet. SD14 even said I knew I was going to be sick and yet just layed in bed and threw up all over the floor... for who to clean up.... and I have had morning sickness for the past few weeks everyday dealing with my own vomiting and now I had to clean up hers... he would of never of cleaned it up... and then the disney dad comes in - what a perfomance... I would give them both an oscar!!!

uncommon's picture

I think that is insane. It is their dad's job to watch them when it's his turn, not just when it is convenient.

uncommon's picture

Are you kidding??? If the child is deathly ill and shouldn't be moved, that's one thing, but if the kid has a flu it's going to be the same damn sickness regardless of which parent is caring for the child. Parenting isn't based on convenience. There should be no time to make up if the father is parenting when he is supposed to.

AliceP's picture

I think if you have a CO in place the NCP shouldn't get out of parenting just cause the kid is sick, that's part of parenting, no I don't like the idea of skids contaminating me or their sisters but that's part of being family. However I'd think it would be hard on the kid to shuffle back and forth while you are sick. My brother is divorced his kid is real sick right now and he's been up their every night sitting with him while his ex does whatever she needs to do, I know not everyone would be comfortable inviting their ex into their houses but I thought it was a nice friendly compromise that had the kids interest in mind.

Dannee's picture

Co's are fine and dandy...but if BM doesn't follow it when convenent for her...

I will be damn as stepmom here to allow my skids to come to my home
while they are with fever, vomiting or the runs..

Newstep's picture

SD came home sick on Monday. She was up all night and then wanted to goS back to her BM's on Tuesday. Normally we would have just kept her but she was going to BM's for Tgiving break Wed night so she just went a day early. She gets upset because her dad won't stay up with her all night when she is sick and BM will. SD even pointed out it was easier for BM to watch her because she doesn't have a job. But the way I see it SD is 12 gonna be 13 in a month so she doesn't need constant watching when she is sick.

unwillingparticipant's picture

I have to disagree with you on this one. Thaat's part of having a kid. They get sick. Is it inconvenient? yes. Is it gross? yup. Does it put my health at risk too? definitely. But it comes with the territory.

StorybookGirl's picture

My BF has custody of his son. More often than not, if the child gets sick, he's sick here. He still goes to see his mother UNLESS whatever he is sick with makes travel just not a good idea (such as a severe upset stomach). Funny thing is, before the CO was in place, she would mysteriously "get sick" herself and demand that we come get the child (which we did not) and it always happened on a weekend that was her time to have the kid but where she wanted to know if we'd watch the kid while she went out with friends.

planningMyEscape's picture

When my 2 kids were newborns, I refused to let the SKs come over when they were sick. They sneeze and cough all over everything-never cover their mouths and never wash their hands. So when MY kids were newborns, I would not let them come over when they were sick. Period. Now, I let them. But I don't like it. Smile

When I was 41 weeks pregnant with my 2nd, my Skids came over and one was sick. OF COURSE I caught it and of course I got the worst sore throat/fever of my entire life (and I've had strep and mono before, so I know sore throats!). And...of course I went into labor.

Good times.

Bubbly1's picture

:sick: I have 5 bio-kids at home. So if sd's are sick they stay home, period, end of discussion. Last time they came over sick I was scrubbing puke out of carpet abd blankets for a week! Thank goodness my dh has a pick-up with no carpet they puked in that too! Gross!

purpledaisies's picture

This is what we do- skids are sick they stay at their moms! If dh or one us is sick they stay at their moms! Dh gets a make up weekend all agree to this. Why? It is really simple, if dh gets sick he can;t work therefore he won't have the money to pay CS or if he has too many sick days he will lose his job again no cs!

The reason that skids stay him if one of us is sick is b/c skids don;t need to to get sick and not go to school. It seems a no brainer here. I understand that dad is a parent and shouldn't get out of parenting but at the same time if we can not get someone sick for no reason then that is what should be done. I am lucky that yuck sees this too and would rather the other people who are not sick to not get sick.
it's not that I refuse to let them come here sick but it more of what is best for the kid and for everyone around them???

purpledaisies's picture

I am SOOO glad that yuck understands that just b/c they are sick doesn't mean that dh doesn't want them but b/c he can't afford to miss work! She would rather keep them in their own beds with her since she doesn't work and she CAN take care of them! Where as I WORK AND SO DOES DH! It isn't about that both should take care of the kids I get that but it is more of thinking of the kids and that they shouldn't be going back and forth SICK or infecting anyone else needlessly. plus since my dh works it will fall on me to take care of the sick kid and NO I am not willing to do that, I have my kids to take care of and make sure they don't get sick too!

AND no if my kid is sick they would not be going to their dads that way. They will stay home and I will take care of them. It's not that I don't think he could but more that way make the poor kids go back and forth sick and infecting others at the same time?? Makes NO sense.

Plus as a mom i understand that yuck would want to keep them herself as that is what I would do too. I guess we (yuck and me) are on the same page with that issue.

uncommon's picture

Lol. I'm a BM and I can't afford to miss work either but sometimes that's what you have to do when you are a parent. It's part of the bad and the ugly that come along with the good.

purpledaisies's picture

Uncommon I get what you are saying really I do. However yuck doesn;t work and never will and never has. Plus I don;t think it is about what the parents want or even about them it is about the kids.

My skids when they are sick want to stay at their moms as most kids do. I guess i am just not seeing a good enough reason to rip them from their beds sick and make an hour drive to go back to a different bed. either way they are in bed. We have to remember that we can't think of what is fair like both [parents should take care of their sick kids but rather what is best for the kids. What is best for the kids is to have have them going back and forth sick but to stay put and with their mom as MOST kids want to be with their mom at that time.

Sure we would love to share everything including when the kids are sick but lets face it sometimes what is fair is not always what is best.

Dannee's picture

I am a BM as well as a SM and the original poster.
I would NEVER let my child go to her fathers home sick!
I would not want him to get sick, nor would I want her
to have to leave the home she originally got sick it.
I am her mother, the custodial parent and quite frankly
it is more my responsibility to take care of her...
NOT her stepmother nor her father.

I will not allow my step children in my home with a fever, vomiting
or the runs even if my husband wanted them here. This is my home too and
I have a say on who enters it when they have a virus.

Amen...Peace

christinen's picture

OMG. This exact thing just happened to me today. My fiance and I have his daughter every other week for the full week (50/50 custody) and today was our day to get her back. Well she is sick throwing up and my fiance sees no problem with her coming to my house. I mean sure he's not thrilled having to deal with a sick kid (his words), but in my opinion, if the kid gets sick at the mother's house, let the mother deal with her until she is better. Why would you put a kid who is throwing up in the car and drive her around just so you don't have to miss your free time? Just ridiculous! I feel your pain there.

dledden's picture

no way i'm cleaning up puke from my skid, he skeeves me to begin with. I think i'd puke just looking at a pile of puke that he made!

Ritka88's picture

My DP brought SS13 many times when he has been sick...I was upset about it but always thought it will never ever happened when I will have my bio child.So up this weekend hope he will learn...On friday he brought sick SS for entire weekend.Since yesterday my DP is feeling veryyy very weak,probably couch same type of virus from his son*fool* ...So since yesterday Im the one making f meals and spending great weather weekend at home.And of cours his precious is totally bored since he had no friends anf waiting for dad entertain him.But anyway id end of sunday and my DP id sleeping all the time,SS is entire day on the phone bored as hell and mouning from time to time to his dad. So guess what, I will never ever let my sick SS stay with us no mater what.Thank god Im ok for this moment cause I can’t miss my work;/...

Rags's picture

Why infect a second household?  Sick kids stay in place until they are no longer sick.

Keep it simple.