What do I tell DH?
My father is having a birthday party for my baby brother next week. DH has a son about the same age, and has an olderson.
The last time my dad saw DH's kids he made a comment under his breath about how unruly olderson was being. Because olderson was playing with a fork in the mud. Now granted, my dad's son is pristine and extremly well behaved. My dad has never really had any tolerance for unruly kids. Not even when I was a child.
Now when I was a kid, I knew better then to act up, because respect for my parents, although they were divorced was a very big issue. There was none of this telling the kids to knock it off and the kid just ignore you crap.
And the thing is... my dad invited my little family... DH, DD, and I. Is it rude to ask if DH's kids could come. And would they feel out of place being at their sister's grandfather's home. I mean, I would never send DD to BM's families home because she would just feel awkward.
Oh what to do!!!
Maybe your family dynamic is
Maybe your family dynamic is different than what I'm used to, but I think it can come across as a little rude for your father not to invite the stepkids.
Make no mistake, I felt awkward with BF's daughter around my parents, but it seems kind of odd to name your BD and kind of imply that the skids aren't welcome. That aside, If I were you and I felt the skids behaved poorly, I would rather they not go.
Hmmm... My family invites my
Hmmm...
My family invites my skids everywhere when we have gatherings (if they are around). However, they don't act crazy around my family.
Personally, I think you should give it a go..ask your dad, if he says ok, then talk to your Skid about what their expected behavior WILL BE if they want to go. Make it fun with clear cut expectations and consequences.
The kids are invited whether
The kids are invited whether it's my family or FH's family. My family likes SD and she has always been friendly and well behaved in front of them, and my DD is well liked by FH's family. SS is the only one that my family cringes about when they find out he's coming, but we all just try to deal with it the best we can!