His kids are not related to your family thus a polite Aunt, Uncle will do.. tell your mother to knock it off.

Your kids are not related to his family, same goes here...

If you both get married all of those people will end up as grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins ect. You should be glad they are coming around about it so well.

"It's confusing enough that on their dad's side alone they have:
His mom, step dad, half sister, dad, step mom, 3 step siblings, 2 grandma's, 1 grandpa, and a million aunts, uncles and cousins. Their bio mom just has her father and bf."

^^This is not even that many people to me. My parents are divorced and had both remarried so there are 4 sides (including 13 of my siblings and step-siblings) to just my family. DH's family is divorced and his dad remarried so there are 3 sides to his family. Plus skids BM family and DS's BD family.

GrandpaLastname or UncleFirstname should take care of it. Or GrandpaFirstname will work, too.

My logic is that tons of people have a GrammyLou or AuntieEmma they aren't really related to but the person is a close family friend or neighbor or just church member. It's very common. No reason you can't adopt the same system for your relatives who are being warm and accepting to your skids.

Since everyone's enthusiastic and getting along, it's not a bad problem to have.

Why don't you let the kids decide what they want to call them? Instead of them being forced to call anyone grandma, grandpa, or auntie, uncle.

Also, depending on the BM, this may cause issues and she may feel that boundaries are being crossed, depending an her sanity - i deal with a crazy BM so just talking from experience

Leave it to the kids!

Wwwwwoahhhhhh...

I see a variety of answers here, and some of which I disagree, so I'll just offer some thoughts:

Grandparents, step grandparents, and so on - pretty much universally - are pretty wise to things, so let's make sure you're considering their viewpoint... GUARANTEED they don't want the kids to feel unwelcome to the family or left out or LESS of a person than anyone else. They mean well, so please don't think they're being clingy selfish scammers. Their intention is surely to display to the kids some OPEN ARMS where they know these kids may wonder about their relationships with their families. Big sigh, let's let these folks have a chance to reach out without a lot of heavy repercussions - they aren't on the sex offender DB are they? Of course not, so let them have the benefit of a doubt.

That said, maybe have a little one-on-one with each party and ask them what types of relationships they would like to have. "Honorary Grandma" or something might be an option, who knows? Let this be something that each person says what they want, and then you bring everyone together for informal opportunities to let them all build these relationships. Odds are that the older folks will say they want the SKids to feel included and part of the family - while the SKids will want to get awesome Christmas presents LOL... whatever the case, let them all identify what matters most to them, and just know that'll be a snapshot of an evolving relationship, and the SKids will eventually mature some and that'll definitely evolve. The GPs will probably be relieved to learn that these kids aren't orphans like in Oliver Twist, and are actually doing OK (maybe even pretty sophisticated at putting on the Oliver Twist routine to manipulate them into getting more cookies or trips to the mall LOL!).

Anyway, I would recommend being gentle, and facilitating things so everyone finds the mental and emotional aspects are all good. I really don't think the stone wall of "Not My Kid" stuff would be right for folks who are grandparents - especially when they generally live to spoil kids.

Zwei Pfennig.

My stepdaughter refers to all of my family as her family - she's got tons of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. on my side. But that's a personal decision we made. DH and I have spoke about it and we both agree that SHOULD something happen to our relationship, I will maintain a relationship with my stepdaughter and so will my family. She will not be removed from our family just because DH and I split up.

We chose this because the way I see it, I've raised her since she was 2 and it would be confusing for her to grow up with me full-time, than lose me in a moment's notice simply because of something that happened with my husband and I. She knows I'm her stepmom and she's never questioned having more family... in fact, she feels really happy about it because she knows she's got love all over the place

My father was a stepdad to my brother since he was around 3 years old. My father actually has my brother's name tattooed on his arm, alongside mine and my sisters (who are his bio kids), and he's never regretted it. He wouldn't get my mother's name, which is good because they split, lol, but he saw it as once you take a child in, that child is yours for life, regardless of any adults in the scenario and what happens to their relationship.

It kind'a bugs me when a SM gets married, and everyone is jumping all over themselves trying to claim SM's bio-relatives are "not related." What does it matter? Marriage to anyone usually means you are going to now be dealing with a lot of people who are not related. Is SM supposed to go to her DH's family events and sit on the side, and then DH and his children are to come to her events and sit on the side? Is "not related" an excuse to avoid and not even try?

If Grandma is all excited about her bonus grand-kids, are you supposed to tell her, "Back off. Don't touch them?" I mean, really!? I'm not saying everyone should be acting out Brady Bunch, one big happy family. But, be realistic. SKs will be attending many events on both sides, and you certainly can't hose off any of your relatives who even try to get near them. Let the chips fall where they may. There is nothing wrong with SM's relatives trying to interact with DH's children. They are not lepers, I assume.

If SM and DH are going to or supposed to act like they are only married when it comes to their bedroom. Yuck!, is all I can say. And, everyone always assumes SM has been married before and has her own children (to focus on) and DH has been married before and has his own kids. Many SMs are married for the first time to a man with children, and SM has no children of her own. Is SM's first marriage supposed to be treated in a sense as a "lesser marriage" right off the bat?

I just feel that it is thrown out there all the time, this idea that a remarriage should be thought of and treated as some type of sloppy seconds business arrangement, where there is just yours and mine, but not ours. There is nothing wrong with a child having "multiple" family members or more people to look out for them and care for them. People should be glad about this opportunity, and not resentful or stand-offish about this.

Ha! I was just watching Island Hunters, and they had this married couple on who said they had seven marriages and seven children between them. They jokingly? stated they were looking for an island so the multiple family members could still all do their own thing, but would still have to hang out with each other. Ha! The DH just said, "We might actually wind up talking to each other and playing board games!" I think if they can try to give it a go then anyone can.

I agree with Chief, why not something simple like Grandma(firstname)?

My OSD can't even stand me, but at least her children do refer to me like that...but then again, I've been in their lives from their day of birth, and they do think of me as Grandma

All of my nephews and nieces called my own SF Grandpa(first name) and it worked well.

No confusion with my their bio grandfather (my Dad) and it also to me is a sign of respect...JMHO!