I have been the stepmother to two girls for about 3 and a half years now. They were only very young when I met them- 18months and 4years. They lived with their dad when I met them and depending on the BM's mood at the time- they generally saw very little of her.(long story and not the point of this forum topic). They developed a very strong connection and bond with me almost straight away. The little one especially knows no different and about 6 months after I moved in they were calling me mum(started by the eldest). Over the time of our relationship their BF and myself have been their rock and they have had sporatical contact with their BM over this time.

I loved them as my own and my partner and I had talked about wanting our family to be one where when we had more children we just wanted them all to be treated the same. I did honestly believe this was possible.

Since having my biological daughter about 4 months ago now my feelings have changed. The feelings of holding a baby in my arms, another life so dependant on me and so pure without complications of another third party has thrown my life into turmoil. It's a love that is so unconditional and a love that no one else can come between and I have no-one else to answer to about her.I know deep down I still love my stepchildren. I still want to bond with them and have our close knit family stay the way it was intended to be. I'm so confused about feelings that have come up inside of me and don't know what to do. I can't even find the words at the moment to describe these feelings but it is causing arguments between my partner and I as I am pretty unhappy at the moment and find myself yelling at the kids often. I keep getting so upset with myself for having these feelings that I'm down, anxious or angry with the world so often at the moment. My partner tells me that it is ok that I feel differently towards my stepkids and bio daughter and once I accept that he thinks I'll handle it all much better.

What do others think??