Yesterday DH and I took a road trip to take care of some business.

We talked about this conversation, some things that I have learned taking a step-parenting class and from some books I have read (Step Monster and The Idiots Guide to Stepparenting). I asked if he was interested in things I had learned, discovered, found out, etc. He said he wanted to hear about it. I was talking and once I stopped just to think, gather my thoughts. He asked me to continue, said he felt he could get something out of the things I had learned.... (WOW)!!

He actually participated so it became a real conversation. He told me that he thinks often, "8 more years til I don't have to deal with BM anymore"- He said everytime he thinks it, he gets 40,000 more grey hairs. I guess just thinking about how LONG that is..

We discussed Guilty Daddy Syndrome and he confessed that is the hardest part for him. I mentioned that it used to be alot worse. He said he is trying to control it but sometimes, in various situations, the guilt of leaving the kids (no matter how much he had to get away from BM) is just overwhelming. I told him that I understand, but its only acceptable to a degree....going ridiculously overboard is just harming the kids. He said he knows, and has been making a conscious effort to curb it as much as possible. ~ I have honestly seen improvements over the years, but there is still alot to be desired.

We discussed that BM does and has always intentionally tried to cause problems between us. As well as that she does not let the kids come to our house when he is not in town (he works out of town alot). I don't fret over it, but the truth remains....she is doing it and telling my skids that "I" won't allow them to come here if their dad is not here... DH and I talked about BM always tries to make me the BAD GUY. When she attempts to put me in a bad light, he says he chews her ass out but he don't tell me about it because he is trying not to upset me with all the unnecessary BS. I explained when I can "see" she is making me the bad guy and I'm not told that he at least stood up for me, is what makes me upset. I let him know that I don't need him to CHEW HER OUT, what I need is for him to make sure she understands CLEARLY that her accusations and such are falling on deaf ears, that he don't give a damm what she thinks when it comes to ME.

Even if BM never lets them come here when DH is out of town, he is going to make sure the kids know that its BM, not ME that won't let them come here...- He used to get upset with me because BM would tell him that SKIDS don't feel comfortable in our home. With her insinutations, and his instant need to protect his kids he was immediately taken to I do something to make them feel uncomfortable... I was able to show him what I think is happening. I told him "That is why you only get this information from BM, but the kids never say anything like that about me." It also explains why SS12 cries and begs ME asking if he can still come when DH is not here. I asked DH, "Does that help you to see that they are being if not told, lead to believe that "I" am the evil one that won't let them come when you are away?" I think a light came on!!! THANKS GOODNESS. -

I think it went well. I think we may be getting somewhere.

~On a side note: has anyone else noticed how many times the letter BM come up in the CAPTCHA? or is it just our BM haunting me every way possible????? LMAO