Unconventional Blended Family Finances
I need some advice about my families interesting blended family situation. Here goes...My fiance is raising his 21 yo step daughter from his previous marriage. She is blind from birth. She lives with us, goes to community college very part time, has a 4 hour a week job, and has very little contact with anyone outside of my fiance and my children. He also has a step son from his previous marriage that he has limited contact with. I came into the marriage with 5 of my own children, four of whom live at home. They are all younger and can not be independent at this point. I paid for half of my oldest daughters private college education and she is covering the rest. I would like to do the same for the next four coming along. I am doing well financially and could make this happen w/o the help of my fiance, and would prefer to do this on my own. My fiance thinks that once we are married my finances become "our" finances so he thinks his step daughter should be included in the financial gifts.
Am I crazy for not being keen on this idea? His step daughter will be dependent on us for the rest of our lives, she gets tons of financial assistance from the government, and won't be going to college full-time. She doesn't help with any household expenses. Aside from the fact that he has allowed his SD to live with him for the last 3 years for free while leaving his SS with his exwife. His SS is now 18 and is working full time, but he doesn't want to gift him anything.
My thinking is that I chose to have 5 kids knowing I would be responsible for their futures and educations. If we weren't together I would still gift my kids the money. I think if he wants to gift his SD money then he can do so out of his finances, and if he wants to exclude his SS then that would be his choice.
Am I being mean? Am I crazy?