Turning "stepdaughter's room" into an office?
I have been with my husband since my stepkids were 3 and 5 (they're now 12 and 14). My husband split with their mother for a number of reasons, one being she cheated on him and another being she was abusive physically, verbally and mentally.
My husband is a good man and yet she did everything she could to smear his name and gain custody of their kids. She went so far as to lie about my husband being a pedophile (after which he wasn't allowed to see his kids for 30 days as he was investigated by police, who came up with nothing). This woman is sick, sick, sick. The first time I met her, she screamed at me to stay away from her kids, in a public setting with her kids sitting right beside me.
That said, the first few years were really tough. My stepkids were awful to me and my son (who is now 13). I had to call the police on my husband's ex a number of times - once for her breaking into our garage and refusing to leave, and another time for throwing rocks at our windows.
I kept telling myself it would get better and it did, as far as my stepson goes. In fact, he and my son get along great and my stepson is very respectful to me (for the most part - he is 14, after all).
My stepdaughter is a different story.
She's developmentally delayed and her mother's puppet. She has heard lie after lie from her mother's mouth since she was small and she does nothing but wreak havoc the minute she enters our door. She's stolen from us and my son, and recently she's had a few episodes where she's been violent towards my husband AS HE'S DRIVING, with our toddler in the backseat (we have two little ones together as well). She tried to choke him one time and another time she attacked him with a tool she found under the seat.
Needless to say, I no longer allow my kids in the car with her. I don't even like having them around her, as she's aggressive and they mimic her behaviour.
She hasn't slept at our house in four years. She comes over to visit once in awhile (the most is one or two days a week, for an hour or two, although some weeks she doesn't come at all and we don't ever see her during school breaks). We moved into a new house a year and a half ago and set up a room for her, which she's never used.
I recently started working from home and I have all my papers scattered on my bedroom floor, on my dresser, etc. and I'm bothered thinking we have this bedroom that no one ever uses, that could be my office. I waste so much time looking for things I need for work when I could have them organized on shelves and on an actual desk in an actual office!
I'm torn about what to do here. If we turn "her room" into an office, my stepdaughter and her mother will have a meltdown. On the other hand, we live in a small house with four kids staying here full and part-time, and we could really use the space instead of having a bedroom sit empty all the time.
What would you do in this situation? Turn the room into an office or leave it?