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trying to get teenagers to help around the house

foray542's picture

Hi All  We're  a blended  family  of 3 teenage boys 19 18 and 14  and as a family  we get on well,  I need some help in trying  to get all of them to do more around  the house, my Partner  and I do long hours   I do up to 75 hours  a week and my partner  just doesn't  stop  so trying  to  get them to do the washing  up  hang out the clothes   or anything  it's hard  it's just easier to do the job yourself   and its annoying  frustrating  etc especially  when I do 15 hour days  plus I've a major garden project  on the go and of course  no help there either 

we can't  bribe them with anything  they just dont care  and it causes  disharmony  in the house  which  is why we leave it  but were getting  tired etc doing  all the house hold chores any ideas would be  great   cheers 

tog redux's picture

Do they have cars, laptops, video game consoles and phones? Those are earned privileges.  Those who don't help out don't get those privileges.

Create a list of chores, by kid, and expect them done by whatever date/time you give them, or privileges such as those listed are lost.

And if the older two don't like it, they can move out.

foray542's picture

thanks for the reply, but the two older ones  bought  there own stuff  and so how can I take it off them also there  6 ft 3 and I'm only 5 9in and at times it can get quite  fractious  and  that would  cause  more  upset  

I guess what I'm after is how to get them to realise  it's there house too and we cant do everything.

My partner  is too soft with them  so it causes  arguments  between  us 

tog redux's picture

He could change the wifi password. No wifi for them if they don't help out.

They aren't going to help out because they want to, they have gotten away with not doing it for too long. Your SO needs to tell them to help out or move out, and if he won't do that, they there isn't much you can do, other than let him know it's affecting your sanity.

If you set the limits, they will just blame and hate you, so he has to do it.

TrueNorth77's picture

Yep, new wifi password every day, and they don't get it until all chores are done.

It's unfortunate they weren't given chores when they were younger- SD9 and SS13 have had chores for years, and it's no big deal now.

shamds's picture

and my brother buying and building his own pcs, if he’d been disrespectful or rude and not do chores, my mum would threaten to confiscate it... my brother wouldn’t dare threaten to report to the cops as he had a great privilege living at home and with that comes chores and doing your part...

i have a ss who’ll be 21 next month, he’s such a lazy shit. Every excuse possible oh and chores are a womans job apparently.