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today i quit

confusedmomof3's picture

Have felt this way for a while now..

Have given everything to this man.. everything for him and his kids.

This year we were granted full custody of the skids (boys 14 & 16)

This year, DH left his job making good money - to take a better job with more "opportunity" down the road.. uh, no.. he took it so he could screw off all day while the kids were in school and then in the summer hang out with them. He has literally made like 6-10 sales calls since January and it's a mystery to me how he is still employed...

This year, I was blindsided by the IRS.. I had a major paycut as well due to layoffs and am now making a lot less than I'm used to.. This caused me to owe a significant amount to the IRS.

So I did the responsible thing and have made payment arrangements..

Well.. the combination of both our paycuts combined with now having two teenage boys full time has hit us hard financially. We have put out a request for support through the courts regarding the boys.. but their biomom is trash and we aren't expecting much..

Three months ago, Dh says to me he "doesn't think we have enough to cover my IRS payment"... WTF? No.. we need to pay this. We fight about it and find a way to pay it.. then again the next month.. same issue/same fight..

DH has made sure his sons are signed up for basketball and football and the 16 year old goes to counseling at 60/session every week.. (did I mention we are in a pay to play district and sports cost anywhere from 300-500 per kid to play)...?

I owe the IRS.. and my portion of my daughters dental work (her father and I split the payments 50/50)...

Oh, yes.. I have a 12 year old daughter 50% of the time.. and I get support that goes into our checking account for "our" bills...

Except.. there are only his bills that get paid.. not mine.

Fed up. Taking it all back. My support will go towards me finding a place to live because I am done..

What "man" only looks out for him and his boys and leaves his wife and step daughter to fend for themselves financially...? Bastard.

confusedmomof3's picture

I am so pissed..

After I typed that... I get an email from my daughter's dad.. she is at the sitters house about 25 minutes from my house and it's my night to get her to soccer - which is 25 minutes away from our house as well..

So I call DH.. he's sitting at home with the "boyz" watching TV and I'm like "seriously, what have you done all day?" - Oh, he had to go to the mall to get new dress shoes because he has a job interview Thursday.... so "he took the boys and went shopping and had lunch.."

Yea, I'm irritated. So I tell DH about the logistics and how I have an hour to accomplish: leaving work and picking up daughter, going home and changing out of my work clothes and get her dressed, fed and over to practice..

He then states he has to get "boyz" to practice as well.. uh, they are less than 5 minutes away..

Wow.. I totally gave him the opportunity to help..

unwillingparticipant's picture

hell yes, sister! Put all your money into your account and do not let him access it. Thats bullshit! Honestly, its his responsibility to take care of his own kids and sounds like he wont be able to without you. Not you kids = not your problem.

confusedmomof3's picture

Already done and told him this is how it is gonna be straight to his face.. unhappy camper now.. boo hoo

Unfreakingreal's picture

Your child support should have no business paying for your husbands kids or bills. PULL YOUR FINANCES OUT NOW!!!! NOW! Like what are you doing reading this? Get your ass to the bank NOW.

confusedmomof3's picture

Yup.. I only agreed to put it all in the pot because we were hurting.. now my kindness bit me in the ass. Lesson learned and it's been fixed Smile

emotionaly beat up's picture

And you think bio mum is a piece of trash.

Wonder what your ex would do if he found out his cs that he pays for his daughter was helping to support your new husband and his kids while their mother paid nothing and their father not much more. Does any of this really seem remotely fair to you, let alone morally right.

confusedmomof3's picture

My child support goes towards our home, which my daughter lives here 50% of the time.. trust me, the support isn't much..

I'm more pissed that I work my ass off, he does nothing and neither does biomom..

Jelly2's picture

If you haven't yet, Have your cs direct deposited and pay your daughter's stuff first, then the IRS, and let the household have the change!

My dh is also self-centered when it comes to finances.

wake.up's picture

Sounds too familiar. Sounds like you know what you should do. I hope you make yhe right decision and don't let him drag you down. You and your daughter deserve better. I left a situation like that. Mine almost tried to take my sons child supports away from me so i didnt even have access to the money. I have never regreted leaving him!