You are here

Teen SDs with Bio mama drama

Thestedmor's picture

blended family with my 2 sons and his 2 daughters. All are teens now! 

Bio-mom is drama and the younger SD is living with us with drama too!! 

13 and needs therapy, what!! Can anyone relate??

 

Thestedmor's picture

I am so out of the loop for raising a teen girl let alone a SD in a world of smart phones and she hasn’t had any monitoring!! Now she is here with us and she says she has depression (because her mom has it) and needs therapy. (I did start the process to find her a counselor) but I am afraid this is all for attention. She says she cant eat and is sick all the time but I found that she is eating in her room and hiding food under her bed. 

She is so different with me then around her dad. She confided things in me but now I am finding dishonesty in her story. Everything she tells me is wrong, if I give her any advice or sympathy she just gives me something else that is wrong. She said she looked up disorders and now she keeps telling us symptoms of things she says she has. 

I do not know what to do? I was not like this as a teen girl and I dont understand the teen stuff nowadays? There is so much at their fingertips. WHat is real and what is reaching? 

Rags's picture

Quit catering to this manipulative kid.  Tell her NO!.  Outline her manipulations and bare her ass any time she pulls her manipulative shit.  Video her food stashes in her bedroom and when she pulls the she can't eat card just say "Oh really? Then what is all of this."  

The beautiful thing about technology and technology fixated kids is that it is a knife that can cut both ways.  It can be leveraged very effectively to expose their bullshit.

Teens are no different now than they have ever been.  They just have different stuff than we had and 30+ years of indiots making up justifications for shitty behavior and made up syndromes of the month for toxic spawn to fall back on as an excuse for their manipulative ill behaved crap.

smh

Thestedmor's picture

I actually exposed the food in her room right to her. And then brought the dad into the picture. Of course she told bio mom she has eating troubles brought on by emotional issues prior to me doing this. and so we of course get the message that she is having trouble and needs to be honest about her emotional stuff. SD made it clear she will not be happy again till she gets real therapy. Poor dad having to come home and be stuck between 3 females! But he did hear what I said and we are trying some things. I want her off her phone for an extended time. (To keep people out of her head and to stop her searching the internet) 

today, she has no phone...she ate and is out doing things. But of course she has a bunch of ailments this morning: Stomach acid, i’m Cold, i’m Hot, I have cramps, I’m tired, I have a headache. Of course this is different As long as her dad is giving her his full attention. She is happy when he does. 

The always looking for sympathy for something. I understand her upbringing has shown her how to get unhealthy attention so truly hope we can break this cycle. I am going to ignore her every complaint and hopefully she can accept the positive and realize there is no need for making up problems to be noticed. 

Teenage girls are difficult!  They are always seeking attention and need validated about everything. I am sure it the need to be seen and accepted and it is hard being that age and not knowing where you fit in the world. But the lying to people to get a certain kind of response makes me crazy!