Stepson doesn't want to be here because his dad works away a lot. Please help!
I have been with my husband since his son was 18 months old. My step son is now 8 years old and we have him every weekend and during all his school breaks and almost all summer. The problem is my husband works out of town and isn't home a lot. A lot of times im the one communicating with his mother and just taking care of him in general. I also have a 1 year old son with my husband and the kids get along great. Last summer however my stepson had a very hard time with not seeing his mom. She was seeing him for a few hours once a week. I was picking him back up from her with him in tears and it was pretty upsetting for everyone. By the end of the summer he seemed to take his anger out on me a lot and kept telling me that he didn't want to live with us and didn't care if he ever saw his dad or I again. I tried to talk to him and I tried to be as understanding as possible and I tried not to get upset with him. I told him that he was welcome to spend more time with his mom but that it was hard for her because she has to work a lot (she's a waitress and works late hours and weekends) He told me that he believed it was my fault and his dad's for not seeing his mom and that we were keeping him from her. Summer time is his dad's time but his mother is supposed to see him some too because we live close enough that we are able to do that and we absolutely do not try to keep him from his mom she's just busy. Anyway, we survived the summer and things started to get better with us returning to the every weekend schedule. He is on spring break now and his dad is away working. He saw his mom just 2 days ago and he is already crying and informed me that he didn't understand why he had to come spend his breaks with me if he wasn't going to be seeing his dad and said what is the point. I'm not going to lie this really hurt my feelings as I've helped raise him just as much as his parents. He said he likes seeing me but would prefer to spend more time with his mom since he isn't seeing his dad when he comes. He is actually sleeping with a picture of his mom in his bed with him which I think is little crazy but I guess if it makes him feel better then no harm done. Anyway, when I think about what he is actually saying I guess it's pretty acceptable for him to feel the way he does. As much as it hurts my feelings I keep thinking it's probaky normal that he wants to be with his parents and not so much his step mom.. So should my husband give up some of his custody if he's working during a lot of the time that he's supposed to be seeing his son and let him stay with his mom more? Or just keep things the way they are? At the moment I'm honestly about at my wits end to be honest and I really just want to try and let him have more time with his mother but I guess I wonder if that's the right thing or not..