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Step son walks around in his underwear in front of my daughters and guests...am I wrong for thinking this is NOT ok?

Mab051976's picture

My 11 year old step son walks around in his underwear in front of my daughters and any guests that come in the house.   I am completely bothered by this and have asked him numerous times to put shorts on or at least a shirt. .  He wears boxer briefs (and nothing else) around the house like it is regular clothes.  Sits on the couch in his underwear, sits at the dinner table at dinner time in nothing but underwear, watches tv on the couch with people in the room...everything in his undewear...just his briefs, no shirt..nothing.    I am not his mother and I have not been around since he was a baby.  I have 12 and 13 year old daughters and just feel this is completely inappropriate considering the blended situation.   When my daughters friends come over, I ask him to put clothes on and he throws a fit and says...tell them to go to their house.  It drives me nuts.  I do not want to see him sitting around in his underwear either.  I am totally uncomfortable with it.  My signifigant other thinks this child can do no wrong, so anything associated with him is ok.  I have explained to him that it is not just the two of them, but my children as well and I would appreciate it if he put some clothes on.  He tells me that I am being ridiculous.  Sitting at the dinner table with him in his underwear with no shirt on is just unerving.  (He is over weight and sadly that makes it worse as "boy boobs" at the table is just too much to deal with.   I think it is beyonfd inappropriate and just not acceptable with teen girls in the home.  Especially when they have friends over, it is embarassing.   What are your opinions on this.  Would you just sit back and allow it or am I being over reactive.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

We wear clothes in this house. Either you follow the rules or you don't get to take advantage of the privileges my home offers. No internet, no tv, only basic food and fruit for snacks. 

Mrs Fireball's picture

No. It's gross and offensive. Tell him to keep his clothes on in common areas of the house. Why hasn't your DH done anything about this?

SteppedOut's picture

My formerSS13 did this also. My formerSO thought it was ok also. This is what the child has always done and didn't think it should have to change. One of the numerous things that I thought was a problem that wasn't addressed (in addition to mean, rude and dangerous behaviors).

Funny, when I LEFT all of a sudden formerSO decided maybe some things needed to change and would if I just came back! Nope. Sorry. Time for you to make some changes has passed. It was time for me to make changes. 

STaround's picture

Tell him kids wears clothes or stays in his room or i take my kids and leave. 

Goodluck's picture

Go back to your room, stick sweat pants/shorts on and a T shirt---once you are dressed you may come out.

Yeahhhh in this case I WOULD say something.

OP you have a right to make rules too.

 

 

Major Blunder's picture

Definitely not right, Dad needs to man up and tell that boy to cover up. Personally (and nothing against your daughters) but girls that age can be kinda mean and I am suprised they haven't shamed him into covering up or their friends for that matter.

susanm's picture

If he thinks that it is so perfectly OK then he should not mind your daughters and her friends posting pictures of him on their Instagrams.  He can hardly claim violation of privacy or that it is embarassing to be seen like that if he is lounging on the couch in a common area with people walking in and out of the room.

MurphysLaw's picture

Nope!

 You’re right on the money sister!

ESMOD's picture

If your husband thinks that it's ok for his kid to walk around in his underwear (outside of his closed door room) then you have a husband problem.  If he won't have your back and ask his son to put clothes on when he is in "public" then I would take his advice and I would leave... permanently.

Rags's picture

Your husband is an idiot.  Get a paddle and give the toxic StepSpawn the clear message that if he leaves his room less than fully dressed the paddle will light up his ass.  Each and every time.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

If your idiot husband doesn’t like how you parent and discipline he can step up and get it done before you have to. 

notasm3's picture

Call the cops and tell them that the brat is "exposing" himself inappropriately to young teen girls.  Video him if need be.  they won't do anything, but they may put the fear of god into him.  Or maybe you need to contact child services and ask them what you can do.

I know many will think this is extreme.  But his behavior (and your husband's is extreme).  Actions have consequences.  I don't pull punches.

elkclan's picture

i Have an 11 yo son who is also not so fond of the clothes. Never has been, probably never will be. 

When my SO started having regular meals with us he insisted my son wear a shirt at the dinner table. I backed him up. It was rule in my family of origin, I just got a bit slack. Of course he has to wear clothes around guests. I do not insist on clothes when it is me, my partner and his two boys (around same age). 

You will never win on this unless your DH backs you up. Table and guests is a reasonable minimum. Start from there. Explain that as a blended family we all have to agree to some new standards and this is one of them.