SS11 dropped off at anytime
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Does anyone else have problems with sc being dropped off unannounced. For three years now this has happened. The second year was almost unbearable then ss stopped wanting to visit at all hours but today he was dropped off again with no notice. My hubby and I both discussed with him that this couldn't keep happening after he was left at our home at midnight two days before my c section. We explained that we have a baby coming and had things we had to do such as appointments and getting ready for the baby. Since then he's sent my husband smart messages asking when he will be available. I would like to add that this kid is allowed by his mother to come here when he says he wants to. So talking to that dope head would be a waste of time.
Why didn't your DH refuse to let him stay?
Why didn't your DH refuse to let him stay? He had his parental rights terminated, so BM is leaving the kid with a legal stranger. This is on your DH, not the 11 year old. DH should either not let him come in, or physically return him home if he doesn't want his child to stay. Has he considered trying to gets his rights established again so you could get a formal custody order with designated visitation times?
My DH used to have the same
My DH used to have the same problem. BM would say last minute, "I need you to keep ___" He would NEVER say no. DH said he didn't want to make his daughter feel "unwelcomed".
Same here
That's how my husband is. A few times he would take him straight back but most of the time he would feel guilty. Our plans were discarded. I think a man should take a stand and make the children respect the time he and his wife planned to have together but that man I do not have lol
Please explain why your
Please explain why your husband's rights were terminated. So many people have asked that question, and you haven't answered.
I did in the comment above. I
I did in the comment above. I've just not had time with a new baby to figure out how to word it. I don't feel comfortable explaining it all either but it's not that bad. It's not that good either but it's definitely not because he was abusing him or anything at all. I just find it difficult to let this all out and I'm trying.
Well I don't know. Our door
Well I don't know. Our door is always open to our kids and they can come here anytime they what. This is their home. However, if your DH had his rights terminated I'm curious (as others are) why SS is going there at all nevernind unannounced.
Including if they turned up
Including if they turned up at midnight?
His mom doesn't care. She
His mom doesn't care. She doesn't even keep him. He's allowed to do whatever at her parents house. I just want some rules established but so many are asking and a few comments above I explained why he lost his rights. It's just hard to let this all out for fear of being judged which I understand that comes with the internet but I'm just looking for some support because I don't see things ending well with my marriage.
I married the CP with full
I married the CP with full physical and legal custody. The visitation schedule was long distance. 5wks summer, 1wk winter, 1wk spring.
I was fine with that.
The one thing that an NCP has as an advantage is the they can refuse visitation and for damned sure can refuse to cover for the CP.
IMHO it isn't about the kids being welcome in the NCP home. It is about managing the CP and honoring the CO.
Kids need to know that they are both welcome and the structure defined by the CO.
IMHO.
If your DH doesn't have legal
If your DH doesn't have legal rights, it's going to NOT look good for him to have a legally unrelated minor showing up at an "ex-felon's" house. It doesn't look good for BM or her parents, either.
Does your DH want to be a father to his son? If so, has he consulted an attorney to see about getting his rights reinstated? Your DH is playing with fire with this, and likely needs to speak to an attorney about how to handle it. It's one thing if BM and your DH have a mutual agreement for visits, but the kid showing up at midnight with no notice is going to get noticed by someone and it looks BAD. Like, bad enough that BM may lose custody and your DH loses his son.
If your DH doesn't want to be his father any longer, then he needs to call CPS or the police when SS shows up. Yes, BM will get in trouble, but it might help SS get into a stable home environment. Your DH could also consider moving and changing his number, effectively ghosting SS, but that seems incredibly cruel.
Ultimately, your DH needs to sort this legally. SS isn't old enough to just wander off at midnight. If DH can't legally do anything himself to help his son, he should engage the agencies that have the capacity to do so.