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So I was wondering why Bio Mom had a fit last week

JazzyJaneD's picture

Turns out, according to an old wedding napkin, it was their anniversary :? . The magical date fueled an ex wife flip out, in which she might have cancer, and refuses to meet me to drop off step son for my husband's week. She demanded that my husband drive to meet her instead of me (who was free all day long and would be providing care to her child) ... and he did it. He then dropped step son off with me back at home. He was an hour and a half late for work and I wanted to strangle him, but she's "going through a lot" and he "already agreed to it". Cue first giant eye roll.

Now I feel bad for being angry since I found out that she thinks she might have cancer and really, I shouldn't hate on anyone who thinks they might have cancer. Cue second giant eye roll. Why do I do this?

Glendathegoodwitch's picture

I would guess that you have had numerous experiences where BM has been manipulative and deceitful.....hence the giant eye roll. I can relate. Wink

Rags's picture

And how many cancer scares has BM had? If she has been forthright in the past then give her the benefit of the doubt. If she is highly manipulative then ......... :? :? :?

My XW had an interesting habbit of calling me to discuss her life problems for about a year after our divorce. Two calls with pregnancy scares. One a miscarriage the other resulted in the birth of the firs of two out of wedlock spawn she had with the geriatric fortune 500 exectutive sugar daddy she left me for.

Supposedly I was her best friend and knew her better than anyone so I was who she wanted advice from. I did not rise to the bait on either occassion beyond asking her if she really had any choice but to have the kid. She was considering terminating both times.

My XW and I did not spawn so fortunately I was not saddled with having to deal with her for the rest of my life. Once our house sold 3 years after our divorce I have had no interface with her at all.

My point is that if your DH and his XW have had a cordial relationship since divorcing then this is likely nothing important. If they have not had a cordial relationship then this is likely BM scraping for sympathy or manipulating.

Being diligent in your awareness of how BM attempts to manipulate elements or your life is not hating, it is prudence.

IMHO of course.

JazzyJaneD's picture

This will be the first cancer scare, but attention grabbers are certainly not new. Last year around the same time, she needed him to pick her up from an abusive boyfriend's house before the cops came (he said no way to that one, thank God). Even after she was the one to be hauled away by the police, she is still with the same guy.

I really would feel awful for step son if it turns out to be cancer. I think the chances are low though. The sum of the story is that she had an abnormal screening and they asked her back for an ultrasound. Not sure why she felt the need to tell my husband these intimate details before she even has a diagnosis, but she did. He bit hook line and sinker and did all her bidding.

I think my biggest peeve of the whole thing is that I wish he would keep all communication to their shared child. If she was more mature it wouldn't be a big deal, but the fact that she's pulling stuff like this, meh I guess it's cheaper than a movie ticket.

momto3's picture

I sincerely hope it's not cancer, but I totally understand being skeptic. BM tried that same card many, many years ago. She called DH at work and tried to convinced him to leave work and drive over an hour to pick up the kids. He told her he couldn't, so she threw the big C out, screaming into the phone "you mean you want the mother of your children to die from cancer?" Fist he had ever heard of this, but of course she knew the right button to push, since his mom had just died a few years prior of cancer. He picked them up from school & a sitter while she was in the hospital.

Turns out (he found out later), she had an ectopic pregnancy...there was no cancer. How pathetic to you really have to be to even kid about that???