You are here

SM sent me a B-Day Card from my dead dad and her

Booboobear's picture

Submitted by Booboobear on Sat, 02/02/2019 - 12:54pm

Forums: 
Blended Family Issues

and she never sent me a b-day card or any card since he was with her.  she lifted the phone when I rang their house, and hung up the phone without saying anything so the recorder wouldnt get my message.  she moved him 4000 miles away and invented emergencies to get him away from his home when i planned to visit, or leave when they visited me.  she ignored prenup and will and filed probate "INTESTATE -Without WILL' and got PR duties, when she waved the duties in the prenup.  she tricked dad into inheriting her $350,000. that was to go to us daughters, and his death certificate says "died from a blunt force to the head"  and his widow said he "fell off the roof" at age 75.  the envelope return address had my dads premade stamp with his and her name on it, which freaked me out getting a letter from my dead dad.  and the inside says:

"booboobear, 

in Lee name "Happy Birthday" and me. God Bless you. Cony    

 

the prefilled out card message says this:

Wishing you a wonderful day and a whole year of just perfect moments, good to be alive days and wonderful to remember times.  

 

I just dont even know what to think.

 

TwoOfUs's picture

Submitted by TwoOfUs on Sat, 02/02/2019 - 5:41pm

I'm so sorry. Maybe she meant it to be kind...but people can be so clueless about death. 

My brother had the misfortune of being at work (he was in college and worked as a server at night) and getting dozens of: "I'm so sorry to hear about your dad" and "We're praying for you and your family" messages before any of us were able to get to him in person. My dad was 49 and on vacation with my younger sisters, so it was a complete shock. 

Several years later he worked in this medical office as their software developer...and this girl/nurse who had a crush on him sent him a text: "I'm so sorry to hear about your mom." or some such. She had overheard this story and thought it would be a "funny prank" that would get his attention. 

He called me from a fetal position curled up on his bathroom floor sobbing and begging me to tell him nothing had happened to mom. Thankfully, I had literally just spoken to her and I was massively confused. I calmed him down...told him to call mom himself because everything was fine. 

It really messed with him and was incredibly cruel and thoughtless. My brother never spoke to this person again and left that job a few weeks later.  

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Sun, 02/03/2019 - 10:12am

She is rotten. There is no way to minimize writing you dad's name to that card. . Different if she signed her name, wrote something to effect "thinking of you and I know you must miss your dad, I do too". 

So tired of folks who try to find the good in someone historically mean like your sm is.

I would have my lawyer send a strongly worded letter to her demanding cease of all contact, contact only via your lawyer or your lawyer will file a order of protection and all other relief the court allows including puintive damages.

I am so sorry. She is cruel.

Reminded me of wacko fathers day gift bm gave my husband (she never have dh fathers day gift before) book about men with depression and suicidal thoughts. Plus around same time a funeral home sent him pre arrangement info. We have funeral director s in my family who told us FD's never send out for arrangement info unless asked for.

We all know behavior like that is not minimal normal range.

Again I am sorry this was done to you. We are still traumatized by it and it was a few years ago.