Boyfriend just moved into my house. Had 2 boys 5 and 7. Their mother was completely fine with them visiting here prior to him moving in. During each over night visit either to his house or mine I would sleep in a spare bedroom out of respect for the children. We did not do any over nights for several months.
Anyway now that he's here the boys are coming and she's flipping out saying that it will psychologically damage them if my BF and I sleep in the same room together. I have 2 children as well and a decent size house so plenty of space for everyone. I think that off the bat they should know that this is their dads new home and we should establish a sleeping routine from the get go. Suddenly is 7 year old is asking where his dad is sleeping...she obviously planted that in his head because on the numerous other visits he and his brother slept in my room with their dad and I stayed with my daughter.
His ex says they will never come here again if we sleep in the bed together. They do not have an agreement on place. They are just starting the divorce process/custody now.
I was in her shoes with my ex and his GF and I was never so intrusive. I am extremely respectful of his kids feelings. I don't show affection in front of them toward their father. Not even a kids hello. I was also in this situation as a child (had a step mother and step father) plus was in her shoes. I want the best for the boys but think this is a manipulation,
I think we need to set a routine off the bat. She says we 'can't' sleep in the room together unless a therapist says its ok for the kids? I've never heard of that. She has yet to make an appointment. And perhaps should have done so when she moved out and left their father for her married coworker. That's not panning out so I really think its a control jealousy thing about the sleeping...
Anyway looking for some guidance.
Even if you think I'm wrong