Skids bedroom sharing, new baby
Hello.
I am a SM to DH older kids, SD(14) and SS(10). DH and I have two kids together, BS(27mo) and BS(7mo).
We live in a 4 bedroom house; master bedroom, large bedroom (SD-14), medium bedroom (SS-10), and small bedroom (BS-27mo). BS(7mo) has been room sharing in master bedroom and is ready for a regular bed time routine. BS(7mo) is a light sleeper, when he is put down in master bedroom he wakes when DH & I enter room for sleep and takes up to an hour to console. BS(7mo) sleeps well in an undisturbed closed room. Room sharing with BS(27mo) is not an option, because BS(27mo) is in toddler bed and likes to sleep with light on; BS(27mo) is a sleep disruption and not an option for any room share. BS(7mo)'s sleeping situation is becoming critical to the well being of the family members who are in the home 100% of the time.
SD(14) and SS(10) currently have their own rooms in our house, their visitation is four overnights a month & two evenings in the week 5:00 pm -9:00 pm. SD(14) does not spend time alone in her room, we have a desk in there for her and she prefers to do school work & spend time in family room. SS(10) sometimes spend time in his room playing with toys & a neighbor friend, he also has a desk in room & does not use for school work.
I feel the solution is to split large bedroom (currently SD-14 room) into halves by hanging blackout privacy curtain from ceiling creating separate but shared room for SD(14) and SS(10). Repurposing medium bedroom (currently SS-10) as a nursery for BS(7mo).
Does anyone have experience with moving skids into one shared bedroom from two individual rooms, in a non-custodial parent home? I am open to suggestions, please help us! - I am concerned for skids feelings, however I feel solving daily sleep disturbances for BS(7mo) is more prevalent.
Good idea dtzyblnd! I didn't
Good idea dtzyblnd! I didn't consider SS10 & BS27mo share rooms, it might work. I worry about different bed times. SS10 still likes to sleep with a lamp on & BS27mos likes a light on too. SS10 has A LOT of toys "big boy toys", and if we have BS27mo share a bedroom with all of SS10 toys, then we'll have another problem. However, solving toy temptations with locked storage is easier to manage than teen girl & boy room sharing. Thanks for suggestion!
I agree with Dtzyblnd -
I agree with Dtzyblnd - exactly what I'd do in this situation. Makes more sense to have the younger boy in with the toddler than in with the daughter...
Im going to have to disagree
Im going to have to disagree with most. I have a SD5 and BSalmost2 and I expect to be in this sort of situation when/if we add another to the family. I cant see reserving rooms exclusively for skids that sleep there 4nights/month. I certainly wouldnt put a 10yrold and a 2yr old in the same room. I understand how you dont want your 2 bios sharing, and I wouldnt do that in my own situation and then have a room sit empty.. thats just silly to me. I understand teens need space but they dont live at your house and Im betting they have their own rooms at their house.
Ive read many sides of this story on here, and so the coin is always seen differently, but I dont see choosing something thats not practical so visitors can have 'plenty of privacy'.
Also what does your DH see as the best solution?
When I shared with DH the
When I shared with DH the option of having SD14 & SS10 share a bedroom, or BS27mo & SS10 share a bedroom, DH felt BS27mo & SS10 sharing a bedroom was the best idea. Also, the cost is higher for us to have SD14 & SS10 share rooms, we'd need to buy twin beds and privacy curtain; SD14 has a queen bed & wouldn't fit if we split room with SS10.
I don't think step kids need
I don't think step kids need their own room. They're hardly ever there. Do they have their own room at their moms? How is it fair that your kids who are there all the time would have to share?
I think it would depend a lot
I think it would depend a lot on SS10. If he is a well-behaved kid and your older bio son and him get along, then I'd say go for putting them together. BUT...if he is like my 9 year old SS, I would NEVER put him w/either of my 2 kids (same sex or not), because my SS is a total bully.
It does seem a bit unfair to your bios to make them share a room and the other 2 get their own rooms when they are only there a few nights a month. BUT, later on, they might like the idea of sharing a room (I currently have little ones who are about 28 months apart, but older-ages 5 and almost 3 who prefer to sleep in the same room).
Tough call. I'd definetly let the baby sleep alone though for now. Either put SS10 w/your older bio son or with his sister.