Should I give him another child?
I have two kids of my own. He has two of his own. His ex is a psycho. My ex and I co-parent beautifully. He wants another child of our own. I go back and forth between “it would be adorable” and “omg that would friggin’ be FIVE KIDS!” but it goes further than that.
His identity is very much rooted in his role as a father. Sometimes too much so. He goes above and beyond for his kids and to be honest they sometimes treat him like shit or manipulate him. Because their mom talks trash and they are always on her side.
Recently, it seems like his daughter has been on this streak of wanting him all to herself and feeling “jealous” of just about anyone... myself included.
I love them, I do... but I do hold some kind of jealousy/resentment for the daughter especially sometimes because I feel like he’s constantly trying to please her and he doesn’t get the validation he wants unless he’s gone above and beyond. I was a huuuge daddy’s girl growing up and I didn’t require such things to be one. He is verbal about his kids being a priority and sometimes I feel like, “aren’t they all? Aren’t WE all?”
That being said, he wants a kid. And I hope he gets a daughter so I can show her how to treat her dad like a hero without manipulation or control tactics. I think he deserves that. But then I feel like my motivations are flawed and I shouldn’t be having a child with those motivations.
I mean, yes I want a child because I would love one of our own above all.... but those feelings of jealousy and resentment make me feel guilty and as if I have no business having another.
His daughter really wants one... so there’s that.