Your boyfriend doesn't understand that it's not your job to babysit his children? I can understand once in a while, but every other weekend for a few months? He needs to change the schedule to a time when he actually spend time with them. It's pretty selfish to expect you to take this on especially when you're pregnant and the children are not behaving well.

I found the best thing for me in my situation when I was resentful of the kids was sitting down and explaining my point of view to my DH. I even disengaged and told him I'm not watching your children on the weekends when you have to work. Even then, we still needed help and we all went to family therapy. That helped tremendously. Things are not perfect, but they are 89.99% better. But, he needs to be able and willing to listen. If he's not, then it's not going to get better.

The point of non-custodial parent visitation is to visit with the non-custodial parent. Duh. Tell him if he isn't going to be there then the kids are not going to be there either. They can stay with Mommy, Grandma etc., anywhere but with you. Insist on it. If he works things out so that he's at home when they visit insist that he do the entertaining and discipline. If you want to take it further then disengage. A explanation of that is below. And at the extreme you can leave but you say you do love the guy so I'd try to get him to respect your feelings and hinting and complaining hasn't worked. So put your foot down and tell him that he fixes this problem by the end of the month or you won't be there to babysit and you'll leave for the weekend to make the point in you have to.

http://steptogether.org/help.html

Everything is happening too fast for everyone involved. Your children are so little and one on the way? Add in his little kids, and I'd have a nervous breakdown. Take yourself and your children out of that madhouse. Then don't even glance at a man for at least 5 more years since you are obviously insanely fertile.

You should not feel or be alone in this. I watch DH's kids while he is at work, but he is 100% supportive of me, and corrects his children when they get out of control...which, mind you, ALL CHILDREN will do. Children test boundaries, it's completely natural and normal. It's the consequences the adults in their lives set up for them that make all the difference.

You have every right to feel in over your head. The good news for you is this: DH and I DID NOT start out perfectly when it came to blending. Nobody does, it's a learn-as-you-go process. It took time, patience and open communication to get to the point where he understands his kids are not my kids, not only from my point of view, but from theirs. They are never going to view SM with a clean slate of love.

Our situation was laced with jealousy and resentment from BM, for no other reason than we live better than she does...for no other reason than we make better decisions than she does. It got extremely difficult, and still is at times. But now, all of my issues are more child rearing issues; my relationship with them is just fine. It absolutely was not always that way. We started out well. Mom went nuts, and things got bad. It got to the point where I told DH he'd have to find a babysitter for his kids if he didn't get them under control, because I wasn't going to deal with hell in my life; that's why I got divorced the first time. And this was not without effort on my part. I had to spend real alone time with each of the skids, creating a more positive view of me to them. Now they understand I'm not this terrible succubus, but that there are legitimate reasons their father loves me, and it's okay for them to like me too.

Look at this from your SD's point of view: They are 5 and 6 years old, still babies themselves...and they go to daddy's house, where there are 2 smaller babies, that trump their cuteness factor living with him, not to mention another on the way. Where do they fit in with this family? Trust me, they are just as unhappy as you are with their visits. And the *wonderful* thing about kids, is they'll let you know just how unhappy they are, not by using words, but by making your life miserable while they're there.
You are pregnant, and have two babies of your own. But for the sake of everyone in your home, not to mention your own sanity, you are going to have to spend real time with each of them to get your relationship to a positive place. If you are dreading them coming to you, they are also dreading coming to you, and will act out on it. That is where you need the help and support of your BF. You cannot possibly be expected to give your skids the love and attention they deserve to start a good relationship with them without his help.

Blended families are tough. The require a very strong parental front. My advice to you is go get that with your BF. If he is going to take the position of "What? I work, that's my grown-up contribution" then I would pack up the kids and get out. If you don't have his support, or work together on making the time you have with his kids pleasant, you will be living in hell. It's not worth it to live that way. Again, no one starts this out perfectly, it is a bumpy ride, so just talk to him. If he's any kind of decent human being, he'll help you on this.

Good luck!

What a bad situation that had the potential to get worse. Glad it worked out. Blending families can be obviously difficult and being pregnant apparently only makes it even more difficult. Good luck!