She doesn't want anymore kids.
Well, I never thought I'd be in this situation, but I guess I needed to turn to someone who would listen. I'm in a blended family, and never expected to be in one. How I got in this situation is a long story, but the end result is that I had a kid with someone who I considered a friend. She had a daughter from a previous relationship who is now 4 years old. To make matters more complicated, I am a merchant mariner, who must travel 100% for work, until I can find something on land. It's a pretty successful career and I'm in a good position thanks to her. When I had nothing and was nearing the end of grad school, she did everything to help me through. Once I got this job, she didn't want to lose me. As a result, she pushed into having a kid with me.
When we got into a relationship initially, we talked about having more kids, other than her first daughter. She said she wanted to have all her kids before the age of 35, and would have multiple kids with me. We agreed that when we do have kids, we would wait two years between kids. Having more than one kid is something that's very important to me. I've always wanted that - it was a wish from my childhood. After spending 32 years being education and job-focused, I wanted children before it was too late.
We had our first daughter together (her second daughter and my only biological child). Labor was very hard and tramautizing for her but she pulled through with me at her side. Also she had post partum depression, but again I never left her side, during the hard times. Now I'm back at work 4 months after the baby was born, risking my life at sea and making money for our family.
She went from wanting more kids and imagining more kids together, to being iffy about having more kids to not wanting any more kids. She doesnt want any more kids.
I'm confused and hurt. I feel misled. She'll have two kids that look related to her, and grandkids that all look like her. I'll only have one kid with her. And if our daughter decides not to have any children, then I'll be left without grandchildren. I can take care of her daughter and be a father figure to her the best I can but for me... it's not the same as having a biological kid.
WTF? I dont know what to do...