She’s freaking out over a cut. A cut!
So, my SS cut his foot. He was okay. DH messaged HCBM and told her he got a pretty nasty cut but it was not deep so did not require stitches. He told her he was okay and not upset. That we soaked it, cleaned it, put on neosporin and bandaged it and he is happily watching a movie.
She doesn't respond except "ok thanks" then starts blowing up older SS phone in big capital letters saying "WHAT IS GOING ON, WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME?, IS HE OKAY?, WHY ISNT HE PICKING UP?? WHY ARENT YOU RESPONDING, WHERE IS YOUR BROTHER!!??"
like.... DH messaged her. Why is she doing this to the kids?? This really rubbed me the wrong way. His phone was on the counter and DH was standing right there and it was going crazy! Text after text after text. Poor kid. This isn't his issue!!!
Our BM did this once. SS got
Our BM did this once. SS got nipped at by my MIL's 15 year old blind dog. SS was running around, spooked the dog and she nipped at his leg. The dog's tooth basically grazed the skin. There was no blood, just a small surface cut and some bruising. MIL's BF is a paramedic so he looked it over, cleaned it up for germ purposes and called it a day. DH immediately notified BM and provided a copy of the rabies certificate. BM just said "Thanks for letting me know."
Fast forward to a week later when BM came to pick up SS, she lifted his pant leg. There was a nearly fully healed bruise the size of a dime. BM didn't say anything in the moment but her face said it all. She said she didn't say anything in the moment, because she didn't want to scare SS.
Later that night, DH got berating emails from BM calling DH negligent because that was a PUNCTURE wound that required immediate medical attention. BM said she raced SS to the pediatrician when she got home and how dare he lie about an injury. She said the pediatrician couldn't believe how negligent he was. BM said she would be demanding photos of every injury that occurs under our care. BM has put that scratch on every medical and school form as a "serious injury requiring emergency medical attention"....
DH essentially told her that it never broke the skin so it couldn't be considered a puncture wound and that he took all the necessary steps. He told her to pack sand. She still tries to hold that against DH every time he needs to seek medical attention for SS, saying she cannot trust him due to negligence.
These women are literally
These women are literally nuts!!! The issue I have is she was texting his older brother asking him all these questions and upset he didn't let her know right away. Like, dad had it taken care of and it's not the kids responsibility to report her her magesty! Lol!! She's so miserable. She can't stand that dad (or more likely me) can actually take care of these kids. It was FINE!!!
I only tell my ex if one of
I only tell my ex if one of the kids has something that needs emergency medical attention or if something needs to be done at his house, like medicine or bandage changes. And he doesn't text me every time one of them gets a cold or scrapes their knee. Although, in this case, if BM is going to have to clean the wound or change his bandages, it makes sense your DH texted her.
Yeah. Agreed! Like I said,
Yeah. Agreed! Like I said, why is she texting SS asking him why he didn't tell her, asking how he is ect.... DH told her already. These kids can't just be kids! They have to live up to her ridiculous expectations and gets upset when they don't fulfill her needs. Why should the child have to report to mom when his brother got a cut??
Our BM flips out over every
Our BM flips out over every bug bite and every sunburn. DH only notified her of the dog nip due to the stigma of dog bites. He knew she would flip a lid if he didn't tell her.
BM once freaked out because SS had a small rash on his face, then she blamed DH for not using eczema cream, yet she never informed DH that SS had eczema. We just thought it was dryness from too much sun and swimming.
My thoughts are "kids get hurt", it's part of childhood. I was constantly cut up, covered in mosquito bites, bruises from falling off my bike, etc. It's a normal part of childhood, but these damn HCBMs want their precious kids bubblewrapped.
Next time, don't tell her
Next time, don't tell her until the kid is headed back to her house. She doesn't need to know about every boo-boo he gets at your home. If it requires medical attention, then tell her.
In our case, I do think BM's own history of trauma got projected onto DH and she really feared for SS's well-being. Sometimes. At other times, she was just using whatever she could to convince SS that DH was dangerous to him.
You've really got to learn to expect this and not get so upset. We call BM "PEW" ie, "Psycho ex-wife", and we always say, "Pew's gonna be pewish".
Just expect everything to be difficult with her.
Very true!
Very true!
Omg this child just said if
Omg this child just said if he can't go then nobody should get to go. I just looked at my husband and said "good luck" and walked out.
I am mortified!!! If my kid EVVVVER !!!!!
sorry this was for my other post because it's never ending! Lol
Dpesn't anyone ever tell him
Dpesn't anyone ever tell him "Shut it, kid. You're only 12 and this is none of your darn business. Butt out."
OK when they are this level
OK when they are this level of crazy you don't need to text or call her about it. It's just an argument starter. Only contact her when its an emergency and anything minor like scratches, bruises, bumps etc then let her know at exchange. In the future always take pictures of the kids injuries so she cant claim child abuse or anything like that.
And, for goodness sake, when
And, for goodness sake, when yoiu contact her, do it in OFW!
You can't fix stupid.......
You can't fix stupid and the stupid is often strong on the shallow and polluted end of a SKid's gene pool.
When he was 4yo SS-28 fell off of a swing set at a neighbor's house during Mommy's Wine Down Wednesdays when all of the SAHMs and their spawn would get together at someone's home on a rotating basis for wine and horsdoerves while the kids played. He broke his arm. His mom was right there supervising and a second before had told him not to jump from the platform to grab on to hanging rings. Nope, he was 4yo. He did it anyway.
DW called me from the ER, I met them there. DW had not eaten so I stayed with SS while his mom ran to the cafeteria for lunch. It was a notable break. SS chose a RED cast when they set his arm. A few days later he left for a SpermLand visitation. This one happened to coinside with his SpermClan Aunt's wedding which SS was a part of. SpermGrandHag accused us of purposely setting up the accident to ruin her daughter's wedding photos. When we laughed in her face over that crap she then shifted to some bullshit about how we picked a RED cast so it would clash with her daughter's wedding colors.
We had no idea what her daughter's wedding clolors were. The kid was 4. He picked the color. Why would be pick the color of his cast?
You can't fix stupid. So don't even try. But... it can be a ton of fun to poke the stupid and watch them spin out of control with their stupid shit.
Have fun!