SDs things that sit untouched
The remodel has began. I've sold/given away everything that was in the spare bedroom.
Yes this is where SD slept when she was coming over... she hasn't been overnight in maybe a year? I made it known to DH that she would not have a bedroom at our house in the long run, so I hesitated when he allowed her to think it was her bedroom. From day 1, overnights were always an issue.
There is a small pile in the corner of the stuff left that is hers. mostly toys, a few clothes etc. Nothing has been worn or played with in over a year, even when she did spend the night she didn't touch any of these things. I left them for DH to sort through, I think he needs to downsize to one Rubbermaid container of stuff that can be closed with a lid that can be put in the garage or wherever.. since I know he will insist on keeping some of these things.
Before I can even discuss him going through these things he starts construction in the room.. WTH? So now most of the walls are torn down and there is crap and nails everywhere and there sits SDs thing.. I'm so annoyed that he cant deal with this.
How should this be handled? I think theres not much reason for stuff to be at our house, if she comes back in the near future she will be older and require new toys and if theres anything that is that important cant she have it at her house?
Small? Put it in a cardboard
Small? Put it in a cardboard box and toss it in the new closet overhead.
There's no way he didn't
There's no way he didn't realize those were his daughter's thing, and he obviously doesn't care. Try not to care more than him.
When I have posted about this
When I have posted about this in the past I got bombarded with 'she needs a space at your house' 'she needs to feel its her house too' etc etc etc.
I try to be sensitive and not just throw away her things, but really like you said, why am I caring more than he does. Its like he just doesn't want to deal, which I understand but seriously.
Seriously, just put it in a
Seriously, just put it in a box and throw it in the attic. That is what we did with SD things that we didn't give away. Someday, she can have it back. But, since she is a brat, not happening anytime soon.
Just pick it up if it is bugging you. See if he even asks about it. Bet, he doesn't even notice.
We haven't seen FauxSS9 since
We haven't seen FauxSS9 since September. He no longer has any voluntary contact with us. We're in the processs of converting his bedroom into a guest room, as we see no point in keeping a room for a kid who will most likely never spend another night under our roof. His clothes were bagged up and donated to our younger nephew. Some of his toys are still here, like Legos and blocks and art supplies, for when our nieces and nephews visit. He didn't ask for anything, so nothing got sent to his mother's.
Anything special, like keepsakes, his Christmas stocking, artwork he made at school, etc. has been put in a tote and placed in the attic in case he wants it someday. We'd send it to BM's but it'll just get ruined there. Maybe someday he'll care. Maybe not. Whatever.
If your SD hasn't cared enough about her stuff to ask for it back, why should you care about it? Chuck it. It's taking up space.
Hmmmm, I hate that "she needs
Hmmmm, I hate that "she needs a space, she needs to feel like this is her home, she needs her own place for her own things'.
Why do I hate this? Because.... when she (sd14) is here she:
1) never helps clean or maintain her room or area or things. messy all the time
2) has no respect for us by taking care of her things OR our things
3) leaves the room a huge mess even though I spent time picking up for her to make sure it was clean before she came.
4) has stuff in drawers that is never touched and hasn't been touched in over a year.
5) complains when stuff is "moved" that she feels like it's not even her room! whahaaahhhhaaaaaa!!!!
I realize that this is my SO's kid. believe me no one let's me forget it!! But still.. it's a room that no one is supposed to use unless she deems to grace us with her presence?? I get shit for storing my vacuum and steam cleaner in the closet in a practically empty room. Anytime we have company, we have to use that room. I get crap if it's not put back exactly like brat thinks she left it! I'm sick of it.
When it comes right down to it, I think that it's not really all that important that she have some elaborate room created as an altar for her. I think it's important that she have a place to chill when she's here and to keep her stuff so she doesn't feel like an intruder. I'm not sure why but I feel like this is all the influence of the bm trying to create drama where there doesn't really need to be drama.
OMG your father doesn't have a room devoted to your existence?? Then he must not love you!!!!!
When I was growing up, I shared a room with my sister. Always. I never had my own space. I shared it. I can't get over this thought that just bc she's got two sets of parents that she should be treated as if something is wrong with her. She's got more crap and shit than my kids ever had. Sd has never done without or lacked anything ever at all.
Certainly not in her stupid bedroom.
Ha it definitely has to go.
Ha it definitely has to go. Him going in there to remove paneling on the wall the same day I got rid of our old bed that was in there shows hes more excited about the future then worrying about her old stuff, but still it has to go, and I don't see just boxing it all up, it wont ever be touched again.
Get rid of it. Heck my SS is
Get rid of it.
Heck my SS is in the house, and if there is any broken toys they are thrown away without anyone's approval, or toys that have been abandon in a area for a certain amount of time, I will put him in the toy bin, once it looks ridiculous even some of those will disappear. I hate clutter and part of DH telling me since I have a higher standard of clean I can pick up the majority of the time (he does help a lot) gives me reign. I have never been confronted on any missing toys ever.
SO probably just misses
SO probably just misses living with her. But he needs to face the facts. If she's not coming over she doesn't even know/care what happens to that crap and if she did care, she would have brought it home or come over to play with it. I say box it and put it away and if it stays untouched for a year, toss it.