Ready to give up
My BF and I have been together 2 years and finally moved in together in December. Since then he's told me at least once a week that I need to find somewhere else to live We each have sons, mine is 8 and his is almost 12. Almost every argument we have is about his perception of my attitude toward his son. His son is extremely manipulative and makes him feel like he needs to be Disneyland dad in order to make him happy. I get in trouble when I put my foot down over spending. This morning I got in trouble for showing my aggravation when his son walked in the bathroom while I was getting ready and just stood in front of me in the mirror without saying excuse me. It's turned into me being screamed at about how I can't be nice to his son. This child has been convinced by both of his parents that he is better than everyone else and more mature than everyone else his age. He's disrespectful to his dad and calls him stupid on a regular basis with no consequences. He tries to get my son in trouble all the time and yells at him like he's a parent. I'm going to counseling on my own because I don't know what else to do. I'm told almost daily that his son is the most important thing to him. Please help me get thru this because I just want to give up and it's causing me to be depressed and anxious. TY
So what’s stopping you?
'Since then he's told me at least once a week that I need to find somewhere else to live ...'
So take him up on this. Leave. Why stick around for a dad who can't parent and his jerk of a son?
Agreed
I would take his advice an leave. You don’t deserve that. I’m in a similar situation. My DH is overprotective of his son and rarely disciplines him. We argue about it so I leave on the weekends. Only thing is they’re constantly dropping him off during the week and even though my husband gets aggravated about it he refuses to say anything because he’s afraid the BM won’t let him see him. I say no worries because they obviously want rid of him all the time. Best of luck
Think, you need to find someplace to live.
This is not going to change, DH wants to be a Disney Dad. Buying and giving his son everything. You are standing in the way. His son is first and in control. You have no choice buy to move out.
Please do give up. Your BF
Please do give up. Your BF "screaming" at you is abusive. He's made clear that you are not a priority - and he's allowing his son to mistreat you. Your son does not deserve to watch his mother be abused and be treated poorly himself.
He tells you to move out and
He tells you to move out and screams at you??? Seriously do you not recognize this as abusive? Is this the behavior you want your son to model as a man one day? Do you not think that you deserve more?
You need to move out. Take your kid and move on. This guy is a douche.
The only sensible thing to do
The only sensible thing to do is to give up, as he has asked. Your son needs to see his mother be strong and independent, and he needs to be raised in a loving environment. This is not that.
Your other options: stay and continue to be screamed at and abused, or stay and hope things change while you are screamed at and abused.
Oh my goodness, do as he says
Oh my goodness, do as he says and move out. You'll never come first and this arrangement isn't fair to your son. Do you want your son to grow up thinking it's ok to scream at women? Do you want him modeling the behavior of your BF and his kid? You've only got 2 years into this relationship - get out before you waste more of your life on this.
Your BF is being abusive and
Your BF is being abusive and mistreating both you and your son. This is not the type of environment that you want to raise your child in. Can you move out? Get your own place, stay with family/friends? Your BF is not taking any steps to change and please know that his sons behavior will only get worse.
So if possible cut your 2 year loss and leave this dysfunctional relationship. You deserve a man that will love, respect and honor you....none of which your BF is capable of.
I would not stay with this
I would not stay with this guy for several reasons but to be told every week to find somewhere else to live? Who wants to live like that? No way would I allow him to keep holding that over my head.
Get yourself and your son out of there.
Not only should you find a
Not only should you find a new place to live ASAP, you need to end this toxic relationship. Move out, block him, and don't look back.
Some women (and men) just can
Some women (and men) just can't up and leave. If so, that's the easy and justified answer here.
But #1 rule for me in a blended (and Godly family) is your spouse MUST always come first. Kids come second. If you put your kids first, they will notice and manipulate you to their advantage. That's exactly what's happening to the SS12 here. He knows he can do whatever to his SM and get away with it. DH has zero backbone.
Sad to say, but unless you agree to this going in, nothing will probably change.
You had me at Rule #1.
You had me at Rule #1.
Other than getting the hell
Other than getting the hell out and protecting your own child from this asshole and his shallow and polluted gene pool why would you want to get through this or anything else to do with this waste of skin?
Do it!
If you're ready, do it! I'm also leaving my relationship after 2 years trying and getting nowhere.
Now I have my own depression to handle, that's all I got from staying around for so long...
Let them have their life the way they want it, go be happy somewhere else. Better on your own than surrounded by abusers (kids and grown ups)!
My XW broke up with me about
My XW broke up with me about a year before we married. I just ignored her and we just kept dating.
Oh how I wished I would have just walked away the evening she broke up with me. It would have saved me a ton of drama, angst and pain.
Just leave. Take your son and go start a new life with this guy and his spawn in your past.