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Question about husband’s group family picture on the wall,

Hadenough34's picture

My husband has a large frame in the dining room of a celebration of his parents many years married.  His parents are both gone some 6-10 years now.  In that frame there’s a collage of different pictures of his parents & also ones of him, 2 with his ex wife in them with him & their now adult children.  I hate that his ex is in any pics on any wall in our house.  The entire thing had been a present to his parents, but now that they are both gone, he put it on the wall at our house.  I had married him & moved into his house.  If we had bought a house together, I feel I would never stand for any pic of his ex wife on any wall in the house.  I feel bad since his parents are gone now, but I hate that his ex wife is in two pics with him & their children & mainly that it’s up on the wall.  What would you do, just take it down or take the pics with the wife in out of & replace it with 2 other pics?  

Thanks for reading.  I wonder what others would do in the situation. Plus his 32 year old daughter, who is a royal pain & that I can’t stand still lives at the house with us, with no end in sight, so that doesn’t help matters. 

 

 

tog redux's picture

I would let him know I'm not comfortable with him having happy family pictures of his ex on his wall  - does he have others of his kids that you can put in the frame in place of those?

It's not "his house" anymore, it's your HOME as well.  You have every right to discuss what hangs on the wall.

Maybe the answer for you two is to move to your own place and SD32 isn't invited.

Hadenough34's picture

Thank you tog redux!  Good idea!  I’ll just put another two of his parents in there instead & take out the ones with his ex wife.  And yes, I just discussed downsizing the house with him & then it will be just my husband & I.  She will Not be moving with us.  That can’t come soon enough! The only bad thing is that it will have to wait till he retires, 14 months from now.  

Biostep7777's picture

Sorry but someone saying to you that you want to be "queen bee" is not nice. However, with that analogy, there can only be one "queen bee" in the house and it should absolutely be THE WIFE not the grown ass daughter. I mean 32????? That's ridiculous! Taking advantage of dad much? Wow. Also, that is YOUR house now as well. Not just your husbands. I would not stand for being told it's not my house because he owned it first. My husband owned a house and he referred to it as "our house" from day one. We own another house now that we bought together because that one was way too small but I never felt like it was not my house. In fact, when we sold it we BOTH had to sign all the paperwork because we are now married! That's what happens when you get married. Anyway, I'm curious how your husband feels about the pictures? Have you told him you don't like it? Me personally?? I would be okay with kids having pics of the other parent in their rooms but not okay with them displayed in my house and my ex and I have a great coparent relationship! My kids have pictures of their dad on their rooms but I feel it would be weird to have my ex husband hanging up in my dining room. I'm with you. Pictures have to go! 

Hadenough34's picture

I agree, if she wants pics of her mom on her wall, go ahead. 

ESMOD's picture

I would simply ask him if it would be ok to replace a couple of the pictures that have his EX in them... It's his property.. so technically, you should ask before you do something to it (i'm talking collage.. not house)...

If his adult daughter wants those pics.. she can have them.

Evil4's picture

You are the wife. You are the woman of the house. You do not need permission to remove pics of the ex. Just do it. You can replace the pics with pics of your DH's parents or pets or whatever. And there's nothing wrong with outright banning display of any pics with the ex in it. So what if it was your DH's house before you married. Now it is your home as well. Your DH chose to remarry and bring his wife into the home. No one in their right mind would expect a current spouse to be OK with living with seeing the ex' mug every damn day. I had a similar situation as you and I laid down the law about ex pics decades ago. 

Hadenough34's picture

I agree, thank you!!!  I have taken care of it & now replaced the two pictures with two of his parents. 

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

I like the photoshop idea. Most people would be glad they didn’t have to look at ex’s face everyday - most people wouldn’t take offence. 

And like the others say it is your home too

just re read your last post did it turn out ok?. 

Rags's picture

Find a service  that can edit the immage to remove BM and reconfigure the pic with just DH and his children.  Put the original pic in an envelope and stick it in a box somewhere. If DH ever asks, tell him what you did and point at the wall of boxes, then tell him the original pics are in one of those boxes.

X's, except maybe in the case of them being deceased, have no business in a new marrital home. And even if they are deceased, have no business being on the walls in the home in pictures. A widow's/widower's photo album is where those pics belong. Not in the face of a new spouse.

Hadenough34's picture

His ex has remarried & is still living.  I met her a couple of times & don’t care for her.  I certainly didn’t want her 2 pics hanging up in the house anymore. Lol

Stepdrama2020's picture

Now SM's are not allowed to be queen bee in their own home. ? 

Take the pics down. Out of courtesy you can tell your DH that a pic of the ex is disturbing BUT since mini wife 32 will be moving out she can take them with her. Heck I will personally hang this pic on SD32 new wall.