Planning to foster
Hello, we are hoping to foster a child, and have just completed our home study. My husband has 2 sons who live out of state (my Ss 14 and 18) and I have a daughter who is 16. We've been together for 13 years.
Well, we expected some family pushback or questions, but the only person that has said anything is my husbands ex who has never called me or emailed me -ever. She sent a long email about how we won't be able to give her son 14 yo undivided attention any more if we foster. Well, 95 % of the time he is not here....and he has never really had undivided attention because well we have 2 other kids.
Then my SS 18 who has always been "opinionated" made sure to put down some comments on our home study paperwork that my DH doesn't discipline etc but they are only here for maybe 3 weeks per year so he doesn't really have a chance to do much of that. He also said that I need to take his criticism better (which I was not raised for a child to criticize or talk badly to adults so I agree I don't take it but also don't feel that that is honoring your parents and feel it's disrespectful but that's another story)
I feel like they are trying to mess with our plans to grow our family even though it is normally just DH, Dd16 and myself at home.
Dh, our daughter and I are super happy and have a great time together, which I think bothers them. I don't know if it's jealousy or what the issue is. Any thoughts?
Why?
Why?
Any person over the age of 18
Any person over the age of 18 who IS, or may stay in the home is 'accounted' for.
BM has every right to say something if her/dh bio kids will be in the home at any time Foster kids are.
That's hilarious. She's
That's hilarious. She's jealous of the not yet existing foster kid. Well, I hope you wrote her back (not really - but I'd be tempted) that's it's not your responsibility to give her precious baby ANY attention whatsoever, so she can just piss off.
Oh, I wrote back and let's
Oh, I wrote back and let's just say she backed off. Won't go into detail...but haven't heard a peep since.
Oh, do give us at least the
Oh, do give us at least the gist of what you said!
I tried to write about what I
I tried to write about what I had said but it wouldn't post?? Any how to sum it up I told her we were going ahead w/ our plan and that we could discuss the visitation schedule When the time comes if she still had concerns...
His ex sounds like an
His ex sounds like an incredibly selfish human being, and what a wonderful, generous act in being a ‘foster family’.
Has she considered for a minute that it might make SS a better, more generous and well rounded human being?
Thank you for saying that! We
Thank you for saying that! We are so excited and we have been trying to teach the kids to be caring for others, how to treat people kindly, etc, and then they go back to "other influences" and we feel like we have to start all over again. Hopefully some of this will help them in the future even though they aren't here often.