Overbearing or do I have issues
My husband and I have 3 kids together. I have a 12 yr old son, he has a 11yr old daughter and we share a 2 year old. My son Is not in residential placement due to violent and disrespect behavior. It's a story all in itself that we have luckily been able to work through together.
Now, my step daughter is with us about 50/50. She is really a good kid. I am and have struggled with her for the past year. She is constantly under foo . She NEVER finds something to do on her own. She is always waiting to be entertained and is constantly following the little one around and parenting him as if she was his mother. She will sit at the counter as we cook and take over any conversation. If he walks into another room she will follow with her phone in hand. Interupting any conversation or make comments on our conversation . The only time anyone has to themselves when she is around is when someone is taking a shit and she is right back in your face the second you wipe. I'm sorry but at 11 there sould be some independence. I have tried several times to address was how I feel. Everytime he either tells me he will work on it and never does because he doesnt want to hurt her feelings or he gets mad and leaves with her and the baby if I mention something while shes in the shower or when we have a small moment I may ask if he can ask her nicely to not discipline the baby or find something else to do on her own. I ask nicely to just try and remind him I live here too. I'm really struggling with feeling guilty I feel this way.
When she is over I feel like I am a third wheel. I am not a mother or a wife. Just a guest in my own house. Plans are made with and for her first and foremost and I have a real hard time swallowing that. We work all week and I get real sick and tired of him always hinging and asking her what the weekend plans will be. Like what am I? My gut and heart tells me that me and my husband should be the adults that are raising all of our children together. I want to be a wife and mother and feel like we are a team. Someone tell me I'm being crazy and ridiculous or give me advice on how to manage this if I am not the only one!