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not looking forward to SS returning after a long break

truebloodfreak's picture

my SS 10 and 15
have been with their mom since July. this is.the longest they have been with her since I met their father 6 years ago. we split up last December and have been on and off all this past year. things aren't good between us ( me and SO) --trust issues,constant fighting, etc.....and supposedly the boys are coming back home to be their dad in about 2 weeks. after not.living with them for so long I'm not looking forward to seeing them. I had a lot of issues with his kids when we were all living together. we also have a 2 year old son together. I'm so confused,lost and don't want to a bitch but I can't help my feelings. I think.they should stay with her longer. my SO is going through financial hard.times and is living with his parents currently. well me and our son stay there too because he watches the baby when I go to work.

RedWingsFan's picture

I know what you mean and how you feel. SD14 was gone all summer and life was GOOD! DH forced BM to resume visitation because she kept threatening to take him to court for more CS and now SD is back, on limited terms anyway.

DH and I can't trust the girl and she's lied about us before to her mother, grandparents and therapist. He won't bring her to our place alone and I won't have here there when I'm there, so basically he picks her up, takes her to his dad's and grandparent's or to a park or mall where other people are around. Sad, isn't it?

I wish I could tell you that things get better but they don't, in my opinion. The only thing you can do is disengage from them, concentrate on your relationship with SO and hope and pray they leave soon!

sterlingsilver's picture

If you have a job and can possibly see it into your budget to move into your own place that might be a good thing. It sounds like your living situation is not good to start with and that could be the cause of your fights more then the kids. A woman needs her own nest, especially if there are kids and skids, you need your own home to be the queen bee and set some basic ground rules, etc. If your dh cannot help you out by getting you all out of his parents house then you should do that for your own child. It's not healthy all living like that under one roof. A true man with any balls would see how you are suffering already and then to try to bring in more mouths to feed, I'd call that complete irresposibilty on his part. If he or you both had jobs to work and rent a home and then bring in your skids that might be easier for you to handle. Maybe.

GillyWilly's picture

Are you eligible for some government assistance if you move out and say you are separated? Your relationship is already on the rocks and the added stress will not help at all so you should start preparing yourself to live independently now before you are on the street with nowhere to go.