New Here; Newly Married; Many Issues :(
I'm new to the site & thought I would give it a try as it seems as though I have no one who can relate to me in my day-to-day life. I have been with my husband for 3 yrs; just got married in October. He has 2 children, son is a normal 11 yr old, daughter who is 20 & acts like 13. (nothing mentally wrong just immature) Daughter is disrespectful to both of us, only time he hears from her is for $$, she is very over-dramatic and tells the family stories of how we don't want her around us-how she is treated so badly by us. I have learned to separate myself; if she is around, I have learned that I have to remove myself from her presence because of the mental games she plays with people in the room. She parades herself around our friends & family in barely any clothes, she lives her life on facebook & tells the world how she is going to get drunk & party (yes underage)of course she now has a baby and doesnt realize that her behavior effects everyone around her. It is just easier not to be around this child. -- I have tried to many times to talk to my husband about this, all he can say is that is just how she has always been, they are just all use to her behavior and they have accepted it.She asks for money from her father every week & plays guilt games with the family. It is very rare that my husband & I have time to eachother, when we do, she will call him over & over until he answers the phone then shows up where-ever we are, so he can buy her dinner. -- Is it just me, shouldn't I be a priority in his life???
Yes, youre right the wife is
Yes, youre right the wife is supposed to be the priority.I have had similiar problems with my DH too. I just decided one day that I was not going to be available anytime he snapped his fingers.In addition, I figured it out that if he had all that disposable income to through at skids...well then maybe it was time for me to do some real hard core shopping on his account. DH has followed SD on twitter,facebook & on her various other websites..until recently when she let him down by getting kicked out of college. DH started calling SD some real nasty words...I just shook my head & went to do my own thing. I look at it this way...when he was obsessed with her...he was paying me very lil attention...NOW its his turn to be on my backburner. What comes around goes around....only way he gets the message that I am TOP PRIORITY!
I had thought about that
I had thought about that too... I need to be "busy" whenever DH wants to do something. It seems like any of his "free" time is spent watching football with the guys at the bar.. I told him yesterday that if he puts on a calendar everything he goes out to do, we are not together that much at all, maybe 1 or 2 evenings and if we are like this now, how will it be in 5 years.. We should save ourselves the time and just get it over with now.. He was literally shocked I said that, so I asked him what he saw in 5 years based on our relationship right now at this point. He then claims "we'll start making time for each-other" (I'm starting the calendar at work today) I need to get some hobbies to do in the evenings!