I feel bad for some of the things im about to say but i cant hold it in anymore!!!!! IM GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!! My stepdaughter is whiny and selfish and acts like shes 10 years old going on 2.

So, im happy to have somewhere to VEEEENT!!!!! I have been married a little over a year and my Step-daughter is 10. I have TRIED to see past everything and accept her.... She is an only child/grandchild at the moment (my husband and I plan on getting pregnant this year) She is with us every other weekend and i find myself DREADING those weekends or any extra time we have to keep her. She is spoiled rotten and no one stops it, she thinks she has to be little-miss-center-of-the-universe 24/7. She is used to getting all of the attention.. so, while she IS 10, sometimes she acts 2. She throws complete TANTRUMS, i mean...2 year old-esque stomping, crying and back-talking over any little thing she happens not to like-tantrums. Like if we ask her to clean her room, she acts like we just took her outside and made her watch someone run over a puppy, i mean just ALL OUT 2 year old-like tantrums. Crying, screaming, and throwing things at us and saying "here! my life is over, you would rather me clean my room than EAT!" Which, we feed her just fine, but if she doesnt get food EXACTLY when she wants it, she will say things like that, acting like she hasnt eaten in days when in truth, everyone is over-feeding her junk and wont get her into healthy habits, i keep telling everyone she is on a bad path to health, but they will not listen. I have gotten fed up before and just plainly told her that I dont even know 5 year olds that still throw tantrums like that, and its true, i dont....And she always says things in a whiiiiiiiiiiiny "its all about me" voice. I understand she doesnt get to see her dad much, but right now my Husband is in his last semester of school(he's 35 and going to preaching school) so i need some alone time with him and she doesnt understand we need to sleep in the same bed together and begs her dad to sleep on the adjacent couch because she is still scared of the dark and needs a nightlight on. Until recently she would come running thru the house in middle of the night waking everyone up because she was "scared someone would get her". I would believe this and chalk the tantrums up to just a girl growing up had she not told me point blank that she does it "because i get my way when i do it" as she said it to me with a smile. She is INCREDIBLY SELFISH and actually ASKS for gifts to be given to her for no reason, we tell her she can earn things by keeping her room clean and she says thats "your job because you are a housewife" Its not my job to do it anymore and for a 10 year old who destroys it in 2 hours if i do (not exaggerating)...you want things? you are 10 years old, its time to clean your own mess and earn things...She also cuts in at others' birthday parties(adults and kids) she pushes her way to the front, talks over everyone, tries to play with anything thats opened immediately after its opened and tries to make it about her so much and so often, that i dont even take her to them anymore, and at her birthdays and at Christmas she ALWAYS comments on how she deserved more gifts instead of being thankful, she says this right in front of all of our family members and no one says anything but me. This year we got her a new DS XL and she got a TON of other gifts and commented on how she deserved to get more, that was it for me, i put her in her place and reminded her that some children dont even get Christmas gifts and to be grateful that she has so many people in her life that love her and want to make her happy, but it seems like they try to equate "things" with happiness, mainly her biological grandparents. Also, she is jealous of EVERY LITTLE THING I want to do, even if im eating. I cant eat, do my workout, watch a movie during my "me" time or even sit next to my husband. when i eat its "give me some of that"....2 seconds after feigning she is "full" from her own dinner. I drink something and she says "gimmie" and when i tell her that she is welcome to her own glass of whatever-it-is-im-drinking, she flatly says no and insists she takes mine. If i am doing my workout she jumps in front of me to take over the wii, and not to get a workout or to even play the game..its because the attention is off of her. My husband sits there and encourages me, and the minute he starts to, she jumps in, insisting on the spotlight, and when i tell her "no, please wait your turn, im just working out" she throws a fit acting like we are just excluding her for no reason, cant i just get a workout?!. If i try to cuddle with my husband on the couch she LITERALLY jumps on us and tries to push me out of the way as soon as my husband tries to cuddle back, demanding in her whiny voice to cuddle with "meeeeeeeeee daddy!" I should have seen this coming when we were in the car once early on and her dad didnt let her come up to my apt to play a video game and she started SCREAMING at the top of her lungs the her dad hated her...because she couldnt come in and play a video game...that she had at home....I know this all sounds terrible and i feel like no one gets it, some people say "oooh, shes just growing up" but they do not understand the enormity of her tantrums or selfishness.....it baffles me that a 10 year old can throw such whiny tantrums and be so incredibly jealous and ungrateful, about EVERYTHING. We cant even do family pictures because she intentionally ruins them, and makes it known she is ruining them on purpose because she doesnt want to be in pictures,i mean, ok, you dont like photos, fine..im not chasing you around with a camera 24/7, im just asking for a few nice pictures ....she even ruined family photos at my wedding so we cant hang any of them because she is intentionally making faces. You tell her to smile and she overdoes it on purpose to ruin the picture then when we give up she makes it known that was her goal all along. I know it sounds awful, but i had to get it out somewhere.......i dont know what to do, if we try to correct her behavior here, it gets undone the minute she goes home or to her grandparents house :? and one last rant and im done. NO ONE but me and her dad makes her take care of her hygiene. I'm sorry, she will come over STINKING because if she doesnt want to take a bath she gets her way and no one will make her but us. No one, not even her mom, has taught her how to wipe herself after a bathroom visit properly so i refuse to touch her clothes now until they have been washed because of some of the things ive come across doing her laundry, my husband does her laundry now, it got so bad i just bluntly told her she needed to take better care of her bathroom hygiene, to which i was greeted with whinyness and attitudes that i was picking on her and being "mean". when i was just trying to help her. I just dont want to be around this kid anymore. Not until she learns some manners. Tell me im not the only one that doesnt want to be around their step-child..........