I have been with my husband for 3 years now, I have children aged 10 and 7 and a 3 yr old sd, I have been in her life since she was 2mths old. I am having a hard time dealing with my feelings of jealousy towards her relationship with my dh. She is very possesive of him and today it was just a point where I thought "this is crazy, I can't feel this way." My dh was asking me if I wanted a coffee and my ds said that she wanted one too, when she didn't get one (if was coffee) she had a fit because she didn't get what I got. Dh went over and gave her "a million hugs and kisses" instead...well the look I got from her after her hugs and kisses because I didn't get any made me soooo angry I put my coffee down and left the room.

It literally hurts my heart when they sit and cuddle on the couch together which I think is totally crazy. My dh is a very attentive husband and I do feel very loved and close to him, just not when she is around. And we have her full time and I am a stay at home mom and look after her while my dh and the bm work.

So tonight my dh had to take sd to the hospital, she had a bad case of the croup and we called the ambulance because it seemed really bad this time. She is ok and they are on their way home now. But when the ambulance driver asked us if we had her medical card my dh said that the momm will bring it when she gets to the hospital, so the driver turns to me and says "of course mom is coming" and I say oh I'm not the mom I'm the step mom, then dh takes her from me and goes in to ambulance, no one says good bye, no one says don't worry, no one said anything to me....I am just the step mom. So I close the door and cry. Cry that she is on her way to the hospital, cry that no one wanted to know if I was coming (my kids are sleeping its 3am) I just felt very alone and left out.

So now dh and bm are at the hospital with THEIR daughter. I will never have a regular family unit again. Never will it just be my dh and I with our kids, there will always be bp's and other step parents. This makes me so sad.

I guess this turned into being alot of babbling, (it is 3am) but I just wanted to vent a bit to others who may feel abit as I do. Now that I have found this site I will take the time after I get some sleep to go through and hopefully relate to some others.
Thank you for reading and "listening"

p.s
I have received a text that everything is fine and they will be home soon.