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Need input!!! Help

Survivor227's picture

So we live in my husbands parents house, now we pay all the bills, the taxes, upkeep etc. my father in law lives here too. He has his own bedroom that he put his own tv, fridge, burner. Basically has his own apartment sans bathroom. My husband son has his own bedroom, we have our own bedroom and my oldest two have their own room. My twins sleep in the living room. Well my husbands father rarely has anything positive to say about my kids. My husbands son is 16, has been kicked out of school several times, causes problems,  drinking and smoking. Now my kids aren’t angels, but don’t get into trouble. They are honor students, they don’t clean up like they should. But they are kids. My father in law yesterday told me he was going to start retribution against my 12 year old daughter because she was picking at his 16 year old grandson. WTF!!! Fight broke out between my husband and I because I don’t feel supported. I am supposed to address this to my father in law. This isn’t the first time we’ve had issues because of my FIL, he’s not even welcome at my sister in laws house because of his pot stirring in their household. I’m just over my kids not feeling welcome in a home that is supposed to be ours. I’ve told my husband I wanna move out and let his father have it. But my FIL will lose this property because he can’t afford to live here. This property has been in my husbands family since it was bought. I am at my end. I don’t think my husband will leave with me. That’s very sad. Truth is that without my income, they won’t make all the payments either. 

ndc's picture

Do you care if your husband goes with you?  From your blogs, it sounds like he doesn't do a lot to back you up or support you.  He reneges on his agreements, doesn't discipline his son and wants you to pay for his toys.  Frankly, it doesn't sound like you're getting a whole lot out of the relationship.  I'm also guessing you're able to support your kids on your own.  

If that's the case, and your husband isn't a big loss, I'd be inclined to move.  If he comes, OK.  If not, OK.  It's not your responsibility to support your FIL or enable him to keep his long-time home.  If you and your children don't feel welcome or at home in the house you're providing the bulk of the support for, walk away.  If your husband won't support you or stand up to FIL, then he's made his bed.  And speaking of beds, this doesn't sound like an ideal arrangement in any event, since two of your kids are sleeping in the living room.  My bottom line is that since it doesn't sound like your husband is doing much to support you or appreciate you, you need to do what is best for you and your kids (which, of course, is impossible for strangers on the internet to know, since we don't have all the facts).

Fishoutofwater's picture

You're supporting that entire household, why? Your focus should be your children. It seems like you would be better off on your own. Why keep your kids in an environment where they are uncomfortable and feel unwanted? You don't need your husband or your father-in-law. They need you. If your husband doesn't want to do his part and stand up for you then you shouldn't do yours either.

Stop  allowing your husband to take advantage of you. He's dead weight.