Need feedback on this crazy schedule proposed by BIO MOM FROM HELL
In May 2010 BM gave the two boys to us. She moved 45 minutes away to live with her new hubby and the boys didn't want to change schools so we took them. Needless to say, it has been a challenge (they come with a lot of baggage)...
We have tried for the past year to get her to move back up here or be more involved in her kids lives. Her excuse is always "not enough money" or "the drive is too long"... etc. She works 5 minutes from our house, so it's not like she isn't in the neighborhood.
Ok, well.. BM's and hubby's house has been on the market and they finally got an offer - but it's a lease purchase (which a LOT of people are having to do these days due to the economy), so we're thinking "yaaaay, she's finally going to move up here and be a part of their lives" (like she said she was trying to do all along).
So, she sends us an email last night wanting to CHANGE EVERYTHING we have worked on for us and our kids (my DH's 2 and my one daughter) for the past year. She wants to get a 2 bedroom apartment with her hubby and have his kids (one boy and one girl) and her two kids alternate weeks with them in and out of the same 2nd bedroom!! Not only that, but she wants to do it so it totally is the opposite of the schedule we have now! Meaning, my daughter and his kids would only see each other 4 days out of the month, so we would only be a "family" 4 days a month? I have shared parenting so it's week on and a week off. We would have my daughter one week, get them that Friday, have Saturday and part of Sunday together and back to her dads my daughter goes and we start a week with the boys...
Not to mention the fact that the boys would have no where to keep their clothes and toys at their BM's new apartment and would have to alternate a bed with their step brother and sister??? I mean, would they have to have a suitcase packed and live out of that? And these kids are ages 10 - 12 (pre teen)... I really don't think alternating a bed is really that great of an arrangement. Plus the just back and forth, instability and no place to really call your own.
We have worked so hard to blend this family and it has not been easy and we are finally making strides! Now she just wants to change all of this because she is moving back up here? I mean, we are totally fine with her doing shared custody with us if she has good living arrangements and is going to stick to the schedule we have had for the past year.. To just pop this on us and expect us to just change everything is absurd... in my opinion.
Thoughts? Comments? Am I out of line here? Help