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my step kids and their mum are eating disordered. Anyone else?

Tigermama's picture

Far out! This is a vent but also I need some ideas to force my partner to firstly, acknowledge that his kids have eating disorders and secondly, to make a plan to deal with it.

I know most families have some issue with their kids not wanting to eat BUT this is far beyond that.

My 15yr old SD is a size 10. She stashes chocolate in her room oand refuses to eat whole portions saying she full. She was very picky as a child and was encouraged by her.mum not to eat vegetables because her mum hates vegetables and hates cooking. When my SD is stressed she cuts and binges and purges. She I thinks she is.hideously fat and that's why everyone hates her, but I suspect she behaves like hee mother did with her friends which was to point out their faults at the last minute and be generally mean. So anyway, mystep daughter is actually capable of being very sweet and loving and is totally stunning and very beautiful BUT eats like a bulimic and says openly that she is overweight and disgusting. Her mother agrees.and has said she is disgusting IN FRONT OF ME. SD15 knows she has a problem and that its messed up, she knows she has a choice in this, but has a lot of pressure to be thin from her mother and now her brother has taken that role.on when they are here and talks about being fat and grabs her.my and calls herchsubchub".

My SS is 10 and has to wear 2 sizes down for what is normal for his age. He is skeletal and gets cold often even.in the middle.of summer. He believes he "cant eat most foods but he used to eat everything I fed him when he was little. But then his mother started to cook him an entirely different meal and if he didn't eat it he'd just have snacks later. He is always served smaller portions and only eats about a third to a half of it. He refuses food even when he is in agony from hunger with stomach aches and constipation, saying he can't eat cause his.tummy is sore. He has started to talk about his fear of being fat and say that he can't eat something or he might.get fat. He seems to be quite psychologically disordered in regard to food. He also doesn't eat at friends houses or when out and if he does he will eat a.few bites and then swear he is.full. My partners family and my family and all the mothers of his friends ask.if he is sick or unwell and constantly put pressure on.me.to help him. I sometimes force him to eat by screaming and cursing and being ott but only ever after like 2 days of him refusing.anything but water and a few bites of bread.

The two of these kids.have just started a game with.my 3 yr old(their.half sister) that goes like this... B what's your name? B: My.name.is Chubb Chubb!! . Kids all laugh hilariously. Then.the older ones encourage.her to do it again. Last time they.did it I asked them what ot meant and they told me that ChubbChubb meant Chubby and that B is so chubby so they gave her that name. B is 2yrs old and slim.

I told my partner about this and he agreed it was unacceptable so when I put the 2yr old down for her nap I said to him and 10yr old that I wanted them to talk about it and to explain why it is not OK AT ALL for anyone.to call anyone fat, cause no one in this house is. AND why boys should never call girls fat cause it causes lots of mental and emotional pain. I left my partner to it. When I got up I asked.him.how it had gaone ans he said he would do it later, another time, another day. I went ballistic.

I am thinking I will have to vote with feet. To make him air here is a problem and force him to make a plan to help these kids.
I need other ideas and your thoughts. Thankyou