My girlfriend's 8 year old daughter is disrespectful and sometimes violent to my 10 year old daughter
Please... new to site! Need help. Not quite sure how this works but here I go. I am a 42 year old father of a 10 year old daughter whose Mom passed away 7 years ago. I have raised my girl with lots of love and help from my family. She is a well adjusted, kind and passionate person. She has had her struggles but they have been in the what I would consider normal issues for a child. My partner/girlfriend of 3 plus years reconnected after being good friends in school. We know each other very well. My partner was married for 15 years and had a daughter. A couple years later she and her now ex husband separated with the father having substance issues. They have had a difficult time which I know has had an impact to her daughter. I have always been very patient, loving, kind and actually felt very close to her. However, the daughter has always been very difficult, not just to me but to her mom, grandparents, daughter, dad etc. Nevertheless, she has lots of people that love her. I have always been aware of the situation and decided not to live with them because I can see the issues ahead if we moved in together. Having said that, if it could work I would love to try. Anyways, Here is the meat and potatoes.... Her 8 year old is so rude and disrespectful and deceiving as well as violent on a few occasions towards my 10 year old daughter I need to get some answers/help or move on. My daughter is very sensitive and after being punched my partners daughter at her family reunion. Everyone saw what happened and on the drive home I told my partners daughter in a stern voice. Do not ever punch her again. It is not appropriate behavior. Unfortunately, my daughter is longing for a mother and was making excuses for her because she is aware that although I love my partner and her daughter, it may not be healthy to continue the relationship. Honestly, it is making me resent both her and her daughter..... HELP
I hate to say it but I don't
I hate to say it but I don't think it can work out.
You cannot expose your daughter to that, you have to protect her. I guess you can date your girlfriend but don't involve either one of your kids however that will get old fast and you will not see each other.
If it already has been like this with your girlfriend's daughter on an outing, imagine how it will get even worse if you and your daughter lived with them and her child would have more access and at times not be supervised around your daughter.
Your daughter only has you.
Your daughter only has you. No one else will protect her if you don't.
I understand that both you and your daughter have a fantasy/wish for a mother/wife. Date this woman, but keep separate households til the kids are out if not longer.
Another poster earlier tonight sent his late teen daughter to live with his ex-wife --- for the girl's sake --- because of stress in the household with his current partner and her children. He had that luxury. You do not.
It sounds as if your gf's
It sounds as if your gf's daughter has some serious behavioral problems. Could be due to poor parenting, poor genetics, or both. Since they are a package deal, what future does this relationship offer? What will that kid be like as a teen? How about when she fails to launch, gets pregnant, can't support herself, etc? I predict the chaos will never end.
You deserve to be happy, and so does your daughter. You recognize that your daughter wants a mother figure. You also recognize that you cannot live with your gf. If remarriage is a goal, then your current partner is not the right person for you. Set her free, and start the search for a woman who will bring positivity into the lives of you and your daughter.