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Meeting the kids for the first time..and other fears

jojo13's picture

Hi, I'm so glad I came across this forum. i'm 26 and I met a fantastic, amazing lovely guy..but yes he come with 3 kids..of which are aged 6, 3 and 1. I've been with him for 4 months and his ex has just said if i'm around for another 6months, i'm more than welcome to meet the kids (completely agree with her). he had a really rollercoaster relationship with her, (didn't know about his oldest child until she texted him and told him he had a 6month old daughter, planned the second and the third was an accident).

the thing is, i have huge concerns and fears of my own. i have no family support from my parents, they are not accepting nor welcoming that i have met a guy with kids. he's everything i've wanted and looked for in a guy..but the kids..however, i'm willing to meet the kids to see if it is something i can deal with. the thing that worries me is the different ethnicity..i'm asian his european and his kids are european. i'm scared that i will be rejected/hated/loathed by the kids becasue of my ethnicity. i don't want them to be bullied because their step mum is asian or whatever.

is there any advice on how and what should i do when i meet the kids for the first time? any advice or stories you can give me i will truly appreciate. or any stories out there of mixed ethnicity blended families? and how did you cope.

PeanutandSons's picture

I am of a different ethnicity from my husband and his kids. It's never been an issue with the kids. I am caucasian and my Dh is Hispanic (dark though, you'd think he was black if you saw him on the street). The kids never thought anything of it..... Kids really are color blind. The 6yr old maybe might have more of an issue, but the other two are for sure young enough that they won't give it a second thought. If dad is open enough to dateboutside how race, and mom is (so far) amicable to the relationship and becoming a part of her kids lives, I can't see the kids having been taught any sort of prejudice so young.

No one has ever given my skids a hard time for having parents that are two different colors. But if you are still worried, talk to bf about it. He knows his kids better than anyone.