Looking for a little insight
Hi, I am new to this forum but I seriously need a place to vent. I will start from the beginning with my concern. My GF and I have been dating a while. She has kids and I have kids. My concern is that her youngest BS sleeps in bed with her, well actually with us now. It has been this way since he was born. He is 2yo now and has never really slept apart from her. It becomes a hassle when we go to bed and the little guy is kicking me in the back or chest. Some nights are really tough and I get woken up all through the night by him. That doesn't include the tantrums he throws when he wakes up and can't go back to sleep. I told my GF that I felt it was time for him to sleep in his own room. I just don't feel comfortable sharing my bed with a toddler nor do I think it's appropriate any longer. I've told her this a few times. She hasn't verbally rejected the notion. She actually agreed, but I can tell she is reluctant to let this happen. I understand how this can be difficult for her because she is so used to sleeping with him in the bed. We normally compromise on a lot of things, but I don't see her putting any effort into this. In my previous relationship with my kids BM I made the mistake of letting them sleep in bed with me, now I can see the mistake happening again. My BDs are trained to sleep in their own rooms though I took some time to do that.
Once children get in the bed it's hard to get them out. With my GF pregnant now I want my SS to be able to sleep comfortably in his own room. I know this is a process and doesn't happen overnight. The kid has to be trained to do this and it will certainly be a growing pain for us. But I don't want to start it once the newborn is here. Then it will become another stress or may not get taken care of at all. I really love my SS he is a great kid. I enjoy him and think he is wonderful. He has a great smile and personality. I just feel that it is time for him to make this transition and that adults are better off sleeping separately. I just feel it is healthier in the long run.
I am just looking for some insight. Am I overreacting? Am I being selfish? Am I absolutely right? Or am I completely out of line? I don't know if I should keep pushing this on my GF because I love her but I don't want to come off as overbearing and trying to drive a wedge between her children.