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Living Arrangements

newmommy05's picture

SS8 may be coming to live with us FT starting this summer. The problem is DH told BM that we would love to take him before thinking through the logistics. For example, we have a 2 bedroom home. We also have DD1. Currently she has her own room and then we have our room. We just moved into this house and renovated it from top to bottom and its exactly how we like it. Now that SS may be coming, he will obviously need a room. Our basement in still being torn apart at the moment and will eventually be finished with a rec-room and a bedroom but because of all the money we spent on the rest of the house, it's not getting done anytime soon. So what should we do in the meantime? Each of the rooms are large enough to put 2 double beds in them plus space for dressers but we obviously don't want SS and DD sharing a room. They get along fine but it just doesn't seem right. If we move DD back into our room, I just feel like we would be going backwards with her sleeping schedule.

SMof2Girls's picture

If it were me, I would have the two of them share a room until you can finish building out the basement. It stinks that DH didn't consider all of this ahead of time. I'm not sure what other alternatives there are .. but I wouldn't want a child sharing a room with me and my DH either. Tough call ..

Kilgore SMom's picture

SS would have to share with DD. What other choice do you have. At least till you get part of the basement liveable. I wouldn't put DD in your room. The more the kids fight the faster the basement will get finished. Maybe

newmommy05's picture

LOL! That's funny...Unfortunately DH will tune them out anyways. Not sure that the fighting will do anything but drive me bonkers!

Tuff Noogies's picture

if the room's big enough for two double beds, dressers, etc. - put two TWIN beds in and some sort of room divider - *poof* sufficient space and privacy for them both.

u can use privacy screens, a hanging curtain, bookcases, anything of the sort. ikea has both folding room dividers and a 6'x6' 'bookcase' of cubbyholes. my dad used floor to ceiling pegboard for us - worked great, and gave lots of hanging storage space!

RedWingsFan's picture

I shared a room with my younger brother until I was a teenager. It wasn't a big deal. If either of us had to change, we went into the bathroom. We didn't sleep in the same bed after age 8 (he was 4). We shared the same space and it was just "life" for us. Not a big issue.

newmommy05's picture

It's not just the fact that they are sharing a room. It's the age gap (8 years), the opposite genders and the fact that they barely know each other (SS only visits once every 2-3 months). SS is also going into puberty soon. I just don't think its appropriate long term, in the meantime-sure.

oneoffour's picture

Puberty? HE is 8! Seriously you have a few years yet. And DD will have an earlier bedtime and SS has a later one. This will also encourage him to be a little quiet when going to bed.

I would fast track the basement renovations and maybe you and DH can move down there. They can share a room for a couple years. Once he starts Middle school I would make sure he has a room of his own.

hereiam's picture

Between this, the child support thing, not consulting you about the child support, and BM flip flopping back and forth, he has not really thought this through, has he?

One should not just take custody of a child full time on a whim and a verbal agreement (or even a written one that is not legal) and hope it works out. Me thinks this is going to bite him in the ass, somehow.

newmommy05's picture

Oh I'm sure it will. Except I will be the one to bear the brunt of it. Basically DH's thought is: I want my son. Thats it thats all. He is very impulsive that way. I try my best to talk him through stuff, but it always comes back to: I can't not take my son if she's offering.