You are here

Kid waking up early

Spaf1025's picture

Step kid is 8 years old and wakes up at 7am or earlier on the weekend saying she's hungry and expects you to get up with her, serve her cereal and sit and watch cartoons. Dh works weekends and I'm up several times a night with a new baby. Isn't 8 years old plenty old enough to make her own damn cereal and watch cartoons by herself until I get up?! I made her do that last weekend and of course told daaaddy how mean I was.. He says he feels bad that she has to be alone since she has abandonment issues from her mom leaving. She does but how does babying her help?! Ugh. I told dh that I'm not getting up with her that early and she'll get used to it but I know he's gonna be all pissy when he gets home and the kid tells on me

Still Have Hope's picture

If he doesn't like how you handle it then he needs to make other arrangements. I am an early riser so this was not the issue. In our house it was nap time, when the bios were babies I loved to have my 2 hours in the afternoon while they napped. So when skids came I insisted that even if they were too old to nap that they have 2 hours quiet time in their room. DH didn't think it was fair since skids were older (5&8). I said then find someone else to babysit when you work weekends. Of course he didn't do that.
When you are left with skids it has to be under your rules. If DH doesn't like it, he needs to make other arrangements.

reallifedrama's picture

Tell DH to prepare her food the night before, for example, he can pour a bowl of cereal and leave a pre-measured container of milk in the fridge. Tell him to give her clear directions on what she can do while she waits for you to get up-ex. tv, at a certain volume, computer, drawing etc.....can she tell time? He could tell her this is the time when "she" gets up and you can talk, play whatever with her. If she can't tell time, or you don't have a set time, then he needs to provide her with her options....but he needs to clearly lay them out, and the fact that she is not to wake you unless there is an emergency.

Either way, he has to do the work to figure it out. It is HIS kid, and you are doing him a favor by taking care of her, and you do have a right to say I will help under these terms. He can take it or leave it.

She might be old enough to do it herself, but I don't know her maturity level, but I do know that you are saying there are abandonment issues, so your husband's responsibility is to let her know she is safe!!!! Whatever you do, please don't get annoyed with her. It is clear that your husband's aware of her issues and making it your problem...he is the one that needs to be handling it....not you, and not the child. He can't just get up and go and leave you two to handle the problem.

Being a new mom is exhausting, and I know when my youngest was born, I had two other kids getting up at the crack of dawn. I would do things the night before to prepare them for morning and when they did come to my room, I would remind them of their options and tell them if they didn't choose, I would put them on the floor next to my bed to go back to sleep until I got up. It eventually worked. Hope this helps some at least.

Spaf1025's picture

Thank you! I agree, and that is exactly what I told dh. He tried to make me feel sorry for her and I told him sorry, not gonna happen. She's not going to get special treatment any where else in life either because her mom is inconsistent. The night before I put milk into a bowl and leave it in the fridge, all the has to do is pour cereal into it.
He knows how much work his kid is during the day- constantly "needing" something and following me around like a puppy dog and I need my sleep to be able to deal with her and take care of a baby. He said ok but I know he's not happy about it. If he gives any attitude tonight I'm going to tell him to start taking sd to his mom's house. Which I think he should be doing anyway, he just doesn't want to ask.

planningMyEscape's picture

Are you kidding me? 8 years old? My 2 year old and 5 year old love to get up early, and BOTH of them have learned how to get their own cereal and turn on a cartoon until we get up (usually 30-60 minutes later!!). There is no reason AT ALL that an 8 year old can't do this.

Seriously, my 2 year old does it.

stressed-mom's picture

Oh my goodness. Maybe my SD and your SD should be best friends. Then can wake up at the crack of dawn and make eachother cereal. I can not stand this! I have woke up at 6 am and she will be just standing in my doorway starring at me, creepy! The minute she sees me move she's up my butt about breakfast. Geez. I've told her to get a bowl of cereal. She whines and complains about it. Now because she will do anything to get out of being self sufficient My biggest problem is she gets her 4 year old sister in on it. She will literally pull her sister out of bed at 6 am. I wake up every morning to 4 years old crying. Then guess what, I'm out of bed and sd8 wants food. Oh my goodness!

cats_only's picture

Instead of staring ours repeatedly tries to crawl in bed. I do not feel comfortable in bed with someone else's kid. I made the mistake of allowing it a few times so now I come across as mean for changing my stance.

cats_only's picture

Instead of staring ours repeatedly tries to crawl in bed. I do not feel comfortable in bed with someone else's kid. I made the mistake of allowing it a few times so now I come across as mean for changing my stance.

wowmommy's picture

If he doesn't like how you handle thing then he needs to make other arrangements. That type of shit is what caused me to say that DH kids can only be at our home when he is there.

dledden's picture

baby abandonment issues, fuck that...she's plenty old enough and capable enough to make her own damn bowl of cereal.....