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Just venting

Let_therebepeace's picture

I'm so tired of BM and her family, and now skids bad mouthing everything I do simply because skids do get everything they want or have rules to follow.

I have raised my skids FT for 11 years. BM is in and out of rehabs, jail, marriages and boyfriends...skids have not seen her for more than 30mins-1hour at a time for the past two years (their choice). Yet, the minute something doesn't happen the way skids want it to, I am to blame, even if I had nothing to do with whatever maybe going on.

I've been called every filthy name imaginable by BM. I've been accused of "mistreating" skids by BM and skids.  If I step back and let DH handle any/everything to do with skids I hear "she treats bios better than she does skids" if I step up and handle a situation I hear "she's not their mother" or "she's mistreating us". 

There seriously is no way to win at the stepmom game. It's so hard to continue doing for people who don't appreciate all the hard work it takes in a blended family.

lieutenant_dad's picture

If you're going to be accused of being a bad stepmother no matter what, then you might as well not put any work into it. At least then you'll have saved yourself some sanity and given yourself some free time with your bios.

Rags's picture

There is a reason why when you rub a puppy's nose in the spot on the carpet where they pee or poop they stop doing it.

Set the rules and expectations of reasonable behavior in  your home, enforce those standards with an escalating sate of abject misery in an age appropriate manner and stick to the plan.

Keep everyone fully versed in teh facts of entire situation including keeping BM's toxic criminal ass bare and make sure the kids are fully informed in an age appropriate manner.

They can bitch, moan, whine and cry all they want.  Just keep delivering a state of abject misery until they modify their behaviors.

Do not cave on it, do not tolerate it... and keep bringing the pain.

Most of all... have fun doing it.