You are here

Just need some opinions

blendedfamily7's picture

I am about to move in with my bf who has a son and daughter, I have 3 myself. Lately we have been having some problems with the bm and his sons actions. For example: when it is my bf's time on the weekends when he is home, the cell phone that his dad got specifically for his son to talk to him when his dad is out of town gets alot of calls and texts from his bm and his son back and forth. It bothers me because it's not the normal how are you doing? Having fun? No. It is him texting or calling his bm to tell him what we did to piss him off, or she calls her son to talk to his dad; my bf. If my bf wanted to talk to his son's bm, he would answer his own phone. Also she calls my bf somehow everytime right when we are in the middle of important stuff like dinner. My bf's son also gets very moody when he can't have his way and makes all the other children begin to get cranky and grumpy too. There are a few other things but I think those make the most problems arise. If anyone would like to give their 2 cents on how to deal or handle these situations it would be appreciated greatly. Thanks.

smurf99's picture

i get this problem too at times 15yr old rings his mum then dh ends up talking to her. He used to do it alot but since i started ignoring it its got better , used to annoy the hell out of me. set some ground rules, ive done that with dh example if we are busy,eating etc dh doesnt answer the phone to her, or will ring her back whens its convienient to us. Once we were about to have sex and she rang and he answered after i flipped out about that big time it never happened again lol!!! I cant control what son does but he does it to wind me up i think. But dh needs to make it clear what happens at your house is his issue to deal with not hers unless its something eg school, that concerns her , discipline is your job. Sounds like hes playing them off against wach other and the parents are letting it happen. Ive had that too, but if your dh makes a stand it will stop.

I had to be the one here that stood up and said to his son, dont be disrespectful about your mum in this house (even though i hate her), hes learning but its effort. Otherwise its tit for tat , only person that loses out are the kids in the long run. Setting consequences might help the moodiness. My ss15 skipped school so he lost his internet access for 2 weeks and now can only go on when we log him in, lol

herewegoagain's picture

Crazy used to call DH all the time and make our lives miserable. I disconnected DHs cell phone. End of story.

blendedfamily7's picture

Thank you Smile We are going to try just taking the cell away while his kids are over. If the bm needs to talk she can wait till 8pm to tell them goodnight on their bd's cell.

buterfly_2011's picture

I have this issue too except its not my son constantly lighting up his phone its my ex and his girlfriend. I pay for the phone and I don't really care if my son uses it to communicate with BD. It's his father. BUT I do get highly annoyed when the calling and texting is non stop from BD and girlfriend. Texting him for reminders to do this or do that or make sure this is done or that's done. I'm more then capable of getting my son's homework finished or we are more then capable of packing the right stuff for sports etc. Sometimes they go as far to ask what kind of activities we have done or what kind of dinners I am cooking for him. My son feels trapped when they do this. And they have inbedded in him if he doesn't answer etc then that's considered lying.
Funny how when he goes to BD house I don't bother him too much other then a good morning or a good night. And most of the time if I need to call my son is always "unavailable" to speak to. I chalk it up to later in life kids will "see" the light of things. Or that's what I tell myself. I try not to sweat things like him talking to his dad or girlfriend on a phone I pay for. I am 12 years into this and I have learned to pick and choose battles. Being a BM and a SM has taught me a lot about both sides of the situations.

kaobree32012's picture

We had the same problem. Twice already, BM has bought SS a cell phone and constantly texted him during our time. We put a stop to it by telling her that if she wanted to talk to him, that is fine but the cell phone was off limits and that he would be leaving the cell phone with her on our weeks. She knows our home number. She can call it.

That worked for a while. Then the next thing you know, the ipod touch we bought him had the "text now" ap installed. We found texts back and forth and he was doing it when we were not aware. Well, that ended when i changed the password on the device and deleted the ap. I also made it to where nothing can be downloaded.

She then decides to call my husbands cell and text through that. Well, again, we blocked the number. She decided to call from her friends phones. Well, if the numbers are not programmed into his phone, he simply does not answer it. She has no choice but to call our home phone.

As you can see, she stops at nothing to irritate us. Purposely, yes. But we are always one step ahead of her. Unfortunately, i do not see it stopping anytime soon. Good luck with your situation.