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casper's picture

Because if you ask him, I am the crazy one...When the daughter comes to visit,its as if the world should stop no chores should get done, every day life will have to wait and he sleeps in her bed with her... I just think it is really really weird

janeyc's picture

That is sooooooooo weird, my Mother used to work nights at the weekend and I would sleep with in my Dad's bed with him sometimes until I was about 8, I was never allowed in their bed other than that, I guess everyone is different but 13, Does Daddy baby his princess? I know how you feel, I am always wrong, my parenting advice is a joke, I know nothing, he is always right, as you are a couple his place is by your side in bed not with his 13 yr old daughter.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

it is completely out of place.I am sure your DH thinks it is innocent and cute(at least I hope that) but it needs to stop today, no exceptions.Tell him you will not accept that- ask him if he knows anybody else who allows that to happen.I have a nearly 13 year old and he would laugh his head off if I ask him to co sleep with us, lol!!

morgan_minx80's picture

Drop it into conversation when all his mates around and watch what they say. IMO if I was told something like that then I would have no hesitation in calling him twisted. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh cause of course its ok to share a bed with your teenage daughter (sarcasm) sounds perverted to me

anafiodorova's picture

I thought I was the only one who had that issue. He did not sleep with her in his bed ( at least to my knoweldge) but until she was 12 she slept on a mattress next to his bed. She was almost 13(looks like 16 ) when I found skype messages where she was begging him to sleep in his room and his mother told me that his almost 13 year old daughter will sneak in the middle of the night and sleep in his bedroom. He had no comment on that.Needless to say that was one of the reasons why this is now my ex fiancee. I was told by him and his mother that this is normal and nothing will change and it is what it is. They were proud of it and the fact that she was daddy`s little girl.I was also made to feel the crazy one that overreacted and actually he and his mother were upset at my reacton. I gave him a year to fix it and straighten things up. It got worse- she continued to nag him and hang on him and sneak at night to go to his bedroom.
No , it is not normal . I am a daughter and I have lived in Europe and no you donot do that. It is twisted and messes up psychologically with a young girl`s brain and values.But when we point it out we are the bad guy. When we demand change we are the bad guy. So the best thing i sto leave and let them figure it out. If not- then they desrve what they created.

Orange County Ca's picture

It should end with the onset of puberity and I doubt if I have to give a clinical reason why but it starts with a "h".

On the flip side it must be innocent or he would be hiding it.

findingserenity's picture

Lol.. My 12yo sd does sleep in our bed whether im here or not and daddy is in between.. Kinda sick, shes having her period already, already having curves but shes a daddy's girl so.. She acts like a mini wife rather than daughter, would caress his face like a girlfriend, tries to sit on his lap.. Just.. Creepy.. Shes boy crazy..but maybe thats normal teen age thing.. Tries to get attention from all guys, and does stupid things to get their attention. Oh well.. Shes daddy's heart and center of his world.

Gabriels Mom's picture

W.T.F.!!??? What is wrong with these men? *I* was daddy's little girl and that "Daddy I want to sleep with you stopped when I was 5". I don't care if it's innocent or not that's creepy.

DH flipped out that BM was still letting SS sleep with her at 8 years old.

I don't even let my 3 year old sleep with me unless he's sick.

Just even thinking about it....*shudder*

anafiodorova's picture

I did not know that she sleeps in his bedroom. He and his mother hid that from me . I found out by chance. I needed my laptop and knocked on the door and saw her sleeping in his bedroom. We were engaged and his mother would not even allow me to enter his bedroom but his daughter was allowed to sleep in his bedroom. Later on I realized that he and his mother made the sleeping arrangements behind my back and waited for me to go to bed.
I addressed it and was told that this is very normal and typical behaviour. I said that I want this to change. In 6 months I was told that they are making changes. However, I found skype messages suggesting that this still continues. Along with the information from his mother that his daughter sneaks out in the middle of the night and sleeps in his room. He did not have any reaction to this.
I donot know whether this is typical teenage behaviour but I am a daughter and I know that I have never slept with my father at that age and there were always boundaries. This was not acceptable for me and was one of the determining factors that solidified my decision to leave. His daughter looks like a 16 year old and many people who have seen her have told me that she looks older than me. I am 33 .

Riamama23's picture

Ha,ha in the same situation! Except my sk is a boy 12. It's not normal not healthy and definantlly a play for them to look even more needy and make Dada feel special! It's a fighting battle that never gets won,in my situation at least! I hate drama and have given up!you could tell him how you feel,what it looks like, tell her as well hell,tell his parents or friends in front of him!!! I did this and got nowhere except how I embarrassed him and ss,uncle teases saying did daddy sleep with ya? Lol you could try sleeping in an empty bed when she isn't there or tell him he can keep on sleeping in her bed cause you sleep great alone. My fh just laughed at me when I did those things. I love having the bed and remote to myself,now it doesn't bother me like it used to,I am beginning to give two shits less where the hell he sleeps!Its beginning to end though fh has actually stayed in our bed the last couple visits it was probably just a stage, hee,hee!So funny I blogged about this last night:)

Helena.Handbasket's picture

No it isn't normal. They are both too emotionally dependent on one another. I would not move forward in this relationship. It will be a constant battle. The only reason his mother finds it normal is probably because she did this with him. Let me guess, was his father not around growing up?

overwhelmed_underappreciated's picture

This is highly inappropriate and could give this 13 yr old the wrong impression. A 13 yr old. Ugh. I feel like a creep just typing that. There is no way in hell that would be allowed at my house. My 2 and 4 yr olds aret even allowed in our bdrm unless given explicit permission. Even when sick they sleep in their own beds (mostly cause I don't want to be vomitted on in my sleep and its fucking weird). This crosses major boundries. Incest is the nicest word that came to mind. Gross gross gross. And your DH and MIL encourage it?? Maybe DH slept in mommies bed until you guys got together. Disgusting to say the least.

anafiodorova's picture

His father was in the military but still they lived in the base and moved to Germany when he was stationed there. His mother is a home maker and never had a job/career. I have no idea why she accepts and considers this normal behaviour and encourages it.Last time I saw his mother she told me that this is a normal daddy`s girl behaviour. We had a huge blow out fight with my ex about it and I threatened to leave on Christmas day 2010. 6 months later I was told his mother reconsidered and that they are starting to make changes. This is the only reason why I agreed to meet her the summer of 2011. After the Christmas 2010 incident I completely disengaged and stopped going to her home or talk to her. When his mother reconsidered and my ex told me that they are making changes I met with his mother briefly in her home for an hour. However, 6 months after my visit Christmas 2011 I heard from his mother that despite the fact that they told his daughter to sleep in her room she would sneak in the middle of the night and go sleep in my ex`s bedroom. I looked at my ex and he did not say anything. I donot know exactly where she would sleep when she sneaks out in the middle of the night.In his bed? That I do not know. I was also told that his daughter will not talk to anyone but her father when she visits and has cursed at his father who is a former military guy. What else has been going on I donot know because I was completely disengaged. I did not even call him or talked to him when he was visiting. If he wanted he could call but I did not initiate any contact.
His daughter was not invited in our apartment because of the drama that she creates. My ex`s grandmother has talked to him and told him that it is not a good idea to invite her in our apartment. She was invited once and created drama. I am glad that my ex listened to his grandmother that is the wisest and most stable person in his family. His daughter wanted to come and has nagged him because her half brother was frequently staying with us and over the summer I have taken him to the pool and amusement park etc. But he is very respectful towards me and polite towards adults in general. He has expressed regrets that his daughter cannot visit but he knows how I feel about that and has never let her in when I was there. I have learned recently that she was there and rode my bike with him that I left there and went swimming with him.
He also started playing Virtual Families with her. I guess they are raising their own family now:)
I am happy and at peace and Love and send love to everyone! I am just writing and helping other women who want to know what they are getting themselves into and hopefully try to find solution