It never ends MORE ISSUES of course
So oldest SS wants to do marching band this year. He told us nothing. He told his mom, they went to an information meeting. Then told DH after it was over and only gave him some details. Here's the problem. DH put in his vacation time. We have a family vacation booked and of course his band camp falls on that week. If SS would have told us over a month ago that he was interested in band we could have worked around it but he says nothing, plans it all out with his mother and of course who is expected to pay for it? We are! I'm so sick of this. It's literally constant drama with them. So what do we do now? Just leave him with BM and go? I think DH should say no to band but we actually feel like it would be good for him. Mom keeps pushing sports which he is literally the least athletic person ever and has zero interest in sports and he didn't make the middle school team so he's definitely not going to make the high school team. She keeps pushing though. She expects these kids to go to Ivey league schools and pushes for them to do so much, expensive stuff and expects DH to pay for it. We are fine with our kids going to in stare schools. They are all smart and will do well in life. They do not need to go to the best of the best abd we just can't afford the lifestyle she expects. It's such a struggle!
She totally did that on
She totally did that on purpose - found a camp that was the week of your vacation. If he doesn't go to camp, can he still do marching band? If so, then say no to camp because of vacation but yes to marching band ongoing - INSTEAD of baseball, not in addition to it.
why
does Dad have to pay for it?
tell kiddo you'll send him a postcard from your trip and you're sorry he chose not to join you.
Because he foolishly agreed
Because he foolishly agreed to pay for everything in the divorce.
if he agreed to do it
then he pays but that's his fault for agreeing to that. And still enjoy your trip, don't change it because one kiddo can't go. Have fun, buy him a t-shirt off the clearance rack your last day there and have a blast!
He has to agree to it before
He has to agree to it before he pays for it.
For sure.... "Take the band
For sure.... "Take the band camp fees out of the CS I pay."
No, to anything that falls on dad's COd time. Particularly when it is motivated by BM and conflicts with prior plans.
How much is marching band? If
How much is marching band? If you can't afford it, tell BM you can't pay for it on top of all the sports. Did BM and SS already know the dates of your vacation? If so, I'd just go without SS. He made his choice and would likely just be miserable and make everyone else miserable if he was forced to go. If they didn't know, I'd contact the band director directly to find out if the camp is mandatory before I did anything. Your BM is a piece of work!
BTW, is your DH obligated to pay for college? If so, I'd make sure parameters are addressed when you're in court.
She knew our vacation dates a
She knew our vacation dates a month prior to this. Oh hell no!! We are NOT paying for college, in our state CS ends at 18 and no college is required.
Knowing your BM, she'll
Knowing your BM, she'll probably try to say college is an extracurricular activity that your husband agreed to pay for!
Bahahaha!! She probably would
Bahahaha!! She probably would try. This woman has zero pride. I'm embarrassed for her over some of the things she does. You know when you are watching a movie and someone does something that is just so embarrassing you feel it? That's how I feel sometimes. Like, "omg no, don't do it, nooo, just stop before you...doh.... you did it" she makes a complete ass out of herself all the time and she truly thinks she's so clever that people won't catch on. It's really disturbing actually. I don't know what kind of mental disorder she has exactly but her behavior is so strange, odd and just disturbing! It's very very weird. She does like just weird shit. I can't explain it .
Their communication is awful
BM doesn't understand the concept of communication and co-parenting does she? If you guys can't change the vacation time, too bad for SS. Maybe if he or BM had communicated with DH this wouldn't have happened. She can take the fees out of the child support she gets. I don't think DH should have to pay for it since he wasn't given a say on it.
On another note though, marching band is much less of a hassle than sports. My daughter is in it and LOVES it. I enjoy watching her at the football games. She goes to band camp for about three or four weeks, practices three days a week when school starts, and minus a couple of competitions and maybe a parade, it's over when football season ends. It is expensive but everything is nowadays.
My SS played baseball when he was a kid to please BM. To her credit, she paid for it, and even helped with transportation when she lived close by. She didn't pay child support though. It was the biggest headache. I am so glad I never have to deal with baseball again, as neither one of my bios is interested in any sports. That experience left a bad taste in my mouth when it comes to kids sports.
No she doesn't. She literally
No she doesn't. She literally thinks she doiukx ge able to do whatever she wants, SS's get anything the want and DH is an after thought. DH is actually all for him doing band but she won't provide the full details. Sfe was vague and we have no idea wgst the total cost is going to be. Is there travel? How much? When? She said they didn't give that info in the information meeting just that it's "pretty mandatory" and "other fees may be due"
oh she wants him to do this AND baseball AND swim AND other clubs. It's literally NON STOP. And she expects DH to pay for all of it and if he doesn't? She gets the kids upset with him. She's a horrid mother. Using her kids to "punish" DH. She's just gross
Did BM and skid know your
Did BM and skid know your vacation plans OR at least that was dh's vacation week? Does your court order reflect that dh pays for everything extra? Oh my goodness if it does.
Keep your vacation plans. IF kiddo wants to go to camp let him.
It may be time to request modification---change of circumstance is BM signing skids UP for everything under the sun. At time of signed divorce degree, she did not over schedule????
. It would be worth getting in front of the Judge and address college too. DH has to deal with this now before it is too late. JMO
Yes. DH gave her his vacation
Yes. DH gave her his vacation dates a month before this. No, he pays for anything that is mutually agree on. We have been in a court battle for over a year! She's AWFUL. No obligation for college in this state. Thank goodness! She expects her special snowflakes to get into the best of the best college and says that's why she's doing all of this.