You are here

I'm new! It's almost holiday time...guess what that means?!

Qsac's picture

:jawdrop: Hello! I'm a stepmom of two Skids(7 & 14). The older one comes live with us every other week, and the younger one only visits us once a month. Even though it's not full time, I still can't stand them!

It's almost holiday time. Not only both kids will come over for a few days, my MIL is coming as well. I stopped enjoying holidays since the day I became a stepmom! I'm having a meltdown before each holiday. I know there's nothing I can do to feel better, that's why I'm here to vent! Join me if you feel the same before holidays, or days before the Skids are coming over!

Soon-to-be-Step-Mommy's picture

Oh yes. I will join! My DH just had to switch his days around with BM, and as a result SD will be with us over Thanksgiving holiday now. I am annoyed to say the least. Now I will most likely have to visit with his family on thanksgiving, and if DH has to work on black friday (he works for an online retailer) then I will probably get stuck with SD on one of my FEW days off of work. I emailed him this morning and told him I already made plans with a girlfriend for xmas shopping and if he has to work black friday that he will have to ask his Mom to watch SD. I was looking forward to the first holiday in several years where we could just enjoy each other and not have to have all the focus on SD. I'm already dreading that weekend and it's only the 2nd of November. Sad Christmas is up in the air until after we go to court the end of this month. If all goes well and the agreement is finalized, DH will have SD on even numbered years only for Christmas.

aggravated1's picture

I can sympathize. It is better the last few years since the SK's have completely PAS'ed out, but those early years SUCKED. We did stop buying the Christmas gifts about 3 years ago, and lo and behold, the grab and run Christmases at least stopped.

I have a Christmas story. A few years ago, when the Wii systems first came out, I managed to find one for the kids. We have our two (DH adopted mine) and his 2, all close to the same ages. It was the big gift for them all-it cost a fortune to buy extra controllers, tons of games, etc. The SK's hardly came in except to get gifts so wouldnt be using it much, so DH bought them some other things also.

I made a scavenger hunt for the Wii, and the SK's were supposed to be at our house at noon. My kids opened their stuff, and were happy, but we were bursting to give them the Wii. Noon comes and goes-no SK's. FInally, at 2 pm, I give the scavenger hunt clues to my kids and they find the Wii and are so excited. 3 p.m.-can they play it? Even though the inconsiderate asshole SK's won't answer their phones (SS was 17) or call to say they were late? Nope. had to rewrap it and wait for the assholes to show up.

By 5 pm, I unwrapped it, handed it to my kids, and told DH and his mom basically to suck it. At 7 p.m., yes. 7 o CLOCK, they show up. No sorry for being late, no nothing. Grabbed their stuff, ripped the wrappers off, and when no one was paying attention loaded up SS's car and LEFT. The Wii was in my son's room and they were playing it, or I know that would have ended up in the car too. The next time the assholes came in, they stole all of the games.

StorybookGirl's picture

I am dreading this holiday season. Last year, the BM was basically homeless either living in her car or bumming on a friend's couch when they'd let her. No attempt to see him during Thanksgiving at all. Then shows up, unannounced, on Christmas Eve to take her son to her mom's for a christmas party. She knew that the child's dad was working some overtime that day, from 12 to 6, and that we'd be leaving at 6 to make a 3 hour drive to his parent's for the christmas holiday. Guess what time she shows up? 12:10. She planned it knowing I was there alone with the kid and had no legal recourse to prevent her from taking the kid (custody was STILL in dispute with the courts at the time). Announces she is not bringing her son back home until 9 and leaves. Luckily she was having to be driven about by a friend since her POS car was not working at the time. Her friend called and basically promised to have him home by 7. They were there by 7, thankfully, we had the car packed and ready to go and hit the road with an exhausted 1.5 year old who refused to sleep for most of the way. It was fantastic.

This year, however, per the court documents, they have to split the holidays evenly where each spends half the day with the kid. We are already planning on doing Thanksgiving boyfriend's parents house the weekend before Thanksgiving.

Oh, and best part of all, BM is saying she is demanding to have the child for the entire Christmas weekend. Why? "Because your girlfriend got to spend it with him last year." THAT is her argument. JEALOUSY. What a frigging idiot.

Leeselooo's picture

First year with the SD15 , cant wait to see whats going to happen , I plan on stealing my daughters laptop and locking myself in my room until I get enough moral support to return to hell ,,, ooopps , I mean reality .. I dont even need a crystal ball to see its not going to be easy for any of us ,,, no more family dinners ( DH has no family but a brother who wont speak to him because of SD)my family is still around but we "couldnt possibly fill the house with just MY family and make her uncomfortable", and no more xmas movies till the kids pass out ( because I'd throw up if I had to sit by DH and SD for more than 10 min's ) , no more having our other family members sleep over for a couple days ( talk about awkward,,) , no more ice skating xmas day ( SD only skates in rinks ,not outside ) ,,, ugghhh , I didnt sign up for this ,,, I want my normal family back !
I honestly see no way around it , my holidays are going to be ruined from now on , it hurts my heart to even think of it ,,, I'm going to hope for the best as always , maybe things will be a bit better by then ,, Sad

frustrated-mom's picture

Unfortunately, this holiday, my son is visiting with his dad and paternal grandparents, so I'm stuck with just the skids (yuck). Everything will be focused on them, and making sure that they have quality time with their parents.

I wish I could go on vacation for Christmas and ignore the entire holiday season.

cryingmama's picture

Also dreading mostly becauce they come at noon on Christmas Day. My kids are 1 and 7 Santa is very real but last year Santa did not go to skids house. They were 8 and 11 at the time. I hate having to do "christmas" over and over. I am also afraid skids will ruin Santa for mine.