Hello! This is my first post, so I apologize in advance for not understanding all of the abbreviations. I will try and make this short and sweet. My boyfriend and I have been dating fro two years now, living together for one. He has a now 13 year old daughter and I have a four year old daughter. I'm 27 and my BF is 42. I will say that he is a great man and when things are good we are great together. The issue we find ourselves in now is parenting. First off he is really good with my daughter, she adores him and I know he will do anything for her. He makes suggestions to me in regards to parenting and I am very open to all his suggestions, since he has raised three children (including the 13 year old), the older two ex step-children he no longer talks to.

I was very close to his daughter at the beginning of our relationship but things are getting weird. She was 11 when I came into the picture, and I think puberty has changed her alot. Her attitude is really bad at times, and the way she dresses is ridiculous. During the summer she dresses with her ass out, and she does everything she can to wear shirts that show off her stomach and what not. In the house she will wear shorts were her ass hangs out and it makes me feel uncomfortable... especially if her dad is around... but he says nothing. When i bring up the way she dresses (like a slut), he says its not that bad and when it does get bad he will address it. I'm sorry but I see grown men looking at all her shit, and I tell him this but still he thinks that I'm blowing things out of proportion. Ok, so we had an incident the other day when i was helping her with her homework and she was on her phone, i walked away not to cause a scene and told him and he just said, don't help her. He NEVER confronts her for her behavior. There are way more incidents, but I talked with her the next day and told her I don't like her attitude, i love her and want to do whatever I can for her, but she has to be respectful. I also told her i'm not trying to come between her and her dad... she seemed receptive... but the attitude and passive-aggressiveness is back. I bought a house for us all to live in last year, but my BF got cold feet on me because of his daughter and I moved into his home to see how things would go. We are suppose to get married in April. but I'm scared I'm making a mistake. I don't want to live in a house where my opinion to his parenting doesn't matter. I'm also scared I will wind up hating her because of how she treats me. I feel as though he treats her like he does me, but she is a child and she shouldn't have the same privileges. She doesn't do chores or anything. He makes all her food like she's a toddler and she is so rude to him.

I think the more I write I'm answering my own questions, but I want to know if anyone else has experienced a situation like this. Can it work? Now I find myself trying so hard to make this relationship work with her, and I could be giving all that attention to my own daughter. I think that me moving out and focusing on my daughter and myself is the best idea, but I don't want to jack my relationship up forever. Please help!